Does Halo 2 suck?

I'd like to answer that question with a question. Are videogames over-hyped? I'd like to answer the question of that answer with another question. Why does a game sell 2.3 million albums in a single day? The answer to this question and other answers and questions can be yours if you but continue to read.

Lets look at all the new and original features done in Halo 2 as a reason for it to sell 2.3 million records in the first day. As with any FPS shooter, weapons are essential. One of the cool things that Halo has it that you can hold 2 weapons at the same time! That's a pretty neat trick. I mean, I haven't seen that kind of thing since...well, Rise of the Triad. Oh how about this cool thing. You can only hold 4 weapons or something. What an awesome "feature".

So, moving on to the awesome vehicles. First of all, VEHICLES IN A GAME??! That's the craziest mojo I've ever heard of! Again, beaten to the punch by games years ago.

Of course the most original element of the game is the "Grand Theft Auto Style Vehicle Jackings". How cool is that? And original! As you can probably guess, in order to appeal to the GTA fans, they've included the trademark feature of the most idiotic gaming franchise of all time. What a smart move. But I guess if they think they need the 11 year old demographic, well...

How about those textures? Sure, they look good. So does the normal mapping. What we have here is a graphics vs. gameplay issue. Does a good looking game warrant a 2.3 million New York Times bestseller? Well? Do ya punk?

Halo 2 is like a bad Friends episode, well, A Friends episode. It's all "been there, done that" quality. Nobody cares that Ross loves Rachel. Nobody thinks that Rachel is funny. Nobody cares about the Gellar Family Cup. But perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe the story is the big draw here. Maybe the magical cliffhanger ending is pulling everyone into it.

What I'm saying here, besides that Friends is overrated and lame, is that Halo 2 is the same game as Halo which is the same game as Quake 3 which is the same game as it's progenitors all way down to Blake Stone, which was damn close to Wolf 3d. Quake 1 was the first game to really raise the bar and every other FPS has had few differences. Search for this, kill this, fall here, die over there, open this door, shoot this, find this secret area and so on. What'd I'd like to recommend is for everyone to start playing Rise of the Triad.

I know this is wanton Halo bashing, but I think it's ridiculous that the same tired formula can bring such huge number of people to a concert. On a monday, I was waiting, for someone to, bring me some talent. Ashlee is a hack and I hope her career sinks to the depths of Hades. Good Day!