Brian Spilner

I got railed on by Smeagol yesterday, who somehow got my phone number on the internet or something. So here I am today blogging about all this mickey-mouse bullsquash, of which I don't have time for. Anyway, I found out yesterday that I have an uncanny ability to forsee what movies are going to be made into sequels. I used my divination skills and predicted that a new The Transporter movie was going to be made as well as...I can't remember any of the other ones, but it was like an infinity of other movies.

So, today at work the whole company except for me was invited to breakfast at a hotel downtown. What a great way to start the weekend, shut out from the party. Oh well, I didn't have to come in to work till 9:30. It was awesome to the max. That means the day is pretty much already over. The only bad part is that I didn't get paid for 3 hours yesterday and 2 hours today so I'm down for the week. Oh well, it's only money and as long as we have enough for rent and italian take-out I'm fine.

This weekend, I'm going to play videogames till I can't see or hear anymore that's how much I want to play videogames. I'm going to play Half Life 2 again and Max Payne 2 and Zelda and Dawn of War and Gorilla.bas and Animal Crossing. Actually, I'll probably end up playing for a couple hours spread over 3 days, but that's the way it is when you have twins.

Frumix doesn't like me anymore. He called yesterday, somehow triangulating my position with some magic electronics or something and got my number, but he called and started cussing at me for no reason. So I said Frumix'x, lets just play Diablo2 and forget our troubles. He's all like "Where's the money?" So I was all like Whatever and then the hot chick was like Sweetbees.

I'm hot

But when I say hot, do I mean hot looking or hot feeling? I was playing Max Payne yesterday and it was weird ,but he does some sweet bullet time dodging bullets and stuff. He spins around and looks cool and draws his gun and stuff. Like in the beginning of The Replacement Killers. It's pretty cool. I just got through a weird part though, it was going through a, oh wait, I talked about that already. But I haven't talked about an awesome game I like to call Half Life 2. It's just so incredible and the animation is so good and the facial animation is actually believable and their eyes move independant of their heads and the zombies are super freaky.

But above all else, I would like to say that I'm really tired and I want to play videogames and be at home and not at work. I think I'm going to make a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be not working". I bet that'd sell. I'd also make one that says Picard/Riker 2490.

The art of not working

You know what band I really like? Creed. They are so deep. And their lyrics are just so deep too. Yesterday, through a mistake at the fruit-weighing station, I spent 3.20 on four oranges. Doesn't that seem a bit ridiculous? I thought I was buying 4 for 1.50, which also, isn't a great deal, but I read the Kg's instead of the lbs. Oh well. Live and learn and then get teletubbies.

I watched the Backyardigans again yesterday. I think I have a new favorite episode. It used to be "The Heart of the Jungle", but now my favorite is called "Knights are Brave and Strong". It has catchy songs and great choreography. I really like it. Anyone should watch that show. It's super fun.

So, right this very minute, I would rather be eating a quality submarine sandwich than doing what I'm doing at this job. And I don't mean Slubway or Fizznoze, but rather from a local, family owned deli. In Orlando, there was deli called Costanzo's and they made the greatest cold italian sandwiches. On the hot steamy side of sandwiches, there was a chain in Florida called Firehouse Subs that steamed all the meats before they put it on the bread. Then they steam the vegetables and put it on the bun too. Then they steam the bun and serve the whole thing with a dish of hot dipping water. It's good.

When in Viburnam...

I was in Viburnam one time for an invitational tournament of the Champions called Tournament of Champions. I didn't come out champion, but I did visit Viburnam. Let me tell you something about those Viburnamites. I just learned of the lemony snicketness of someone who bagged on me for watching 1 show vs many shows. I many have a gastrological/paleolithical attachment to DH, but at least it's some kind of connection. Frumix on the other hand, and I'm just using Frumix as an example, watches every show that's one.

I was cruising down the highway yesterday on the way home from work and almost right as I took the entrance and merge with traffic going high speeds during rush hour, Hey Ladies came on the radio. It was awesome.

So I finally beat Hal..oh wait. Actually I'm playing Max Payne 2 right now. I have to say that despite not being Half Life 2, it's pretty fun and he can do some sweet moves in bullet time. It's pretty weird too. I just went through an abandoned fun house, like in Scooby Doo, except it was full of weird props and chanting about insanity and flesh and dying. But I did finally discover that it was Old Man Winters.

The

Last night I watched something on tv. It was called DH. It was such a good episode I can't even believe I tried to abstain. I'm not saying it was a good as playing Half Life or anything, but it was funny. In other news, I'm still so pissed that blogger lost my sweetbees post. It was super funny. I'm so hungry right now, but I can't eat because there is nothing to eat. My abstinance to TV continues to work and I had time to beat half life 2 this weekend. What an incredible game, seriously, if you are a human, you owe it to yourself to play this game. And Jill of the Jungle 2.

That little dog from the beforetime

That dog was here again. It was pooing everywhere too. On the floor, on people's keyboards, in their coffee and on their pop-tarts or toaster streudel. So I grabbed that stupid dog by the back legs and stapled his ass shut. Hahahaha, that line is so hilarious. That's one of my favorite lines from The Burbs. Actually, Smeagol told me to say that.

Smeaking of Speagol, has anyone noticed that Smeagol doesn't blox anymore? What's the matter there? Too kool for life? I was watching Space Ghost the other day, it was the one where the Wonder Twins sue Space Ghost over child labor laws. It was really funny. Almost as funny as the time I threw the little dog off the 4th floor balconey of my apartment complex. That was so funny!

Life beyond the office

I was just sitting here in my comfortable 8 hour chair, when I felt a stinging, biting, chocolately sensation on my right hip and the bottom of my right foot at the exact same time. Talk about a kwinky-dink as the kids say in the mid 90's.

I'm waiting for BEH to get a new computer because we have tons of gaming to do. Diablo 2, Dungeon Siege 1, DS Expansion, DS 2, Unreal, Jetpack, a bottle of old harper, Life Force, and etc. So get a computer BEH. Anyway, I have a new 19in monitor and it is so good looking. It makes the older look new and sweetbees again. I like computers. I think I'm going to work on building another one soon. I hope I can anyway. Or maybe I'll just upgrade my dual processor cpu's to AMD 2800+'s from the 2000+ they are now. That'd be sweetbees.

I just got back from the land of wind and ghosts

Yesterday I talked to an anonymous person who shall be called only by their initials: BEH. This "BEH", who is actually Beh, railed on me for over 3 and 1/2 hours about how I talk about Half Life 2 too much and about how I wanna do more. People shouldn't bag on people who just wanna do more. So, the moral of the story is don't wanna do more.

In other news, media awards shows are the stupid thing to ever be invented. I'm not sure if anyone heard any of the music at the Golden Globes last night, but it was completely stupid. I remember watching an episode of The Animaniacs, of which I never really liked, but they spoofed an award show in one episode and the music was very similiar. Award shows are just completely lame, as are the stars and pseudo-stars and star-reporters that swarm them. I have a great idea. Lets make a TV channel so people can star-worship at all hours of the day! Celebrities are lame.

My head cheats

I mean, hurts. My head hurts because I have a headache because I played Half Life 2 for 2 (coincidence?) hours yesterday. But what an intense ride! It's like riding The Batman for the first time in the front seat. It's funness index is off the chart! I'm at work physically, but psychically, I'm in Viburnam Missouri. Emotionally, I'm in Bueno Washington and mentally, I'm in Arkham.

I'm going to play Half life 2 more today. I think I might beat it, but I hope I don't. I just want to keep playing it and seeing the awesomeness that is Half Life 2. Everyone with the fastest computer possible should play Half Life 2. Everyone else should play Jetpack or Gorilla.bas.

Do you ever take it off any sweet jumps?

I perfectly understand not wanting to watch something or read something or eat something because everyone else is eating it. However, in the case of Napolean Dynamite, one must take into consideration that stupid little high school nitwit girls are stupid and should not dissuade a more discerning adults from seeing this good movie. I wouldn't think that a high school idiot girl would even understand why some of it is even funny at all.

I'm building an application that allows me to catalog my music collection. It's a database thing created in MS Access. I feel pretty good about that. In other news, I don't have anything to do today, so I'm going to look at Hellboy comics. Hellboy: It's whats for dinner.

Little dogs

It's no secret that little dogs are stupid. Just stop for a second and look at a little dog. Look into those blank eyes. Stare at it's stupified expression. You know there isn't alot going on between those ears. I guess the same could be said of most dogs, but for some reason, bigger dogs look smarter. Anyway, every few days, some lady who works here brings in this little dauschund (sp?) that is always wearing a stupid sweater. I'm just sitting at my desk working on some stupid paperwork when this little dog shows up and starts licking my foot. I can hear the lady calling for her dog in the background, but she's not anywhere to be seen. "Alex-where are you? Mommy is looking for you." Gaaaah, it makes me sick. So this stupid little dog has gone under my desk and the lady walks past me not seeing her "child" hiding. The way the office is set up, I figure I have about 6 minutes before the lady comes back. I grabbed the dumb little dog and hogtied it with some telephone cable that's sitting at my desk (I have a dead phone). Then I took it's sweater off (it was just a clip on variety, not the kind that goes around it's legs) and wrapped it around it's head and cinched it really tight with the clips. Then I tossed it out in the main area where I listened to it whimper until it was rescued by it's worried "parent".

Alright, so it didn't really happen like that. And even little dogs are ok most of the time, but I don't care for animals coming to work. Unless it was Benji: The Hunger.

Baby Baby

I'm taken with the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion
Baby Baby the stars are shining for you
And just like me I'm sure that they adore you
Stop for a minute
Baby I'm so glad you're mine

That song goes out to Frumix'x because he kept emailing me and asking me to post the lyrics to his favorite song of all time.

Have you ever worked at a job where you don't care whether the company you work at suceeds or fails? Or whether your dept. will meet it's quota of useless paperwork or whatever? I'm doing that right now, but I'll keep my chin up because--

Dontcha know
it'll change
things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
things'll go your way
Hold On for one more day


I'll keep holding on just for you Wilson Phillips! In other news, Half Life 2 is way cool. I think I'm getting close to beating it, and then it's on to playing it at the hard difficulty level. Maybe. I don't like the idea of going back to some of those places though. The horror...the horror.

Is this on?

I love hearing people ask if stuff is on because it makes me think, "That was such a funny episode of Space Ghost." It was the one with Metallica and it is among the funniest 15 minutes of TV as are many other episodes. Like the one where he had Larry Appleton and Balky Bartakomous as guests. It was funny. Especially when Balky started acting like a ninja again.

Last night I was the victim of a prank phone call involving many disparaging remarks about my TV watching habits. I was accused of watching primetime. I tried to say that I didn't set aside time to watch TV and didn't rush to the TV to watch TV when a show was on that I wanted to watch on the TV. But this might not have been accurate information. Then again, it could have been. I know that I like to watch The Amazing Race. I like to watch Top Model and The Apprentice and Scrubs. But only 2 of those are on now, so the point is that while I like to watch those shows, they aren't on right now.

Why are IT guys that get paid to be IT guys such dorks?

Yeah, I don't know why either. There are 2 really smart guys in this office that are perfectly normal, but for some reason, all companies seem bound in hiring the nerdiest dorks for IT needs. They can't tell when someone is joking. They can't understand sarcasm. They don't know what it's like to kiss a real girl. They've never touched a real girl. They don't have any They laugh at bad computer jokes and shout insults like, "Oh yeah? Well you let Windows manage your virtual memory!" I can't figure it out. A person's IT intelligence is not dictated by their geekiness. It is measured by how much they like Viper and Dark Justice.

The hell you think this is...

I have been the McRecipient of several disparaging remarks regarding my relationship with Tad Hamilton. I am not in love with Tad Hamilton. Nor do I wish to be reborn within his soul. That's just purely ridiculous. I do, however, love Viper: The Series. What a fantastic mix of impossible inventions, high-rise hiijinx, magic the gathering, the ghost car known as Viper, full-floating interactive self projecting holograms and Cameron Westlake. I also like Mantis too. And the magic freezing darts that the guy invented. There are so many sweetbees shows on TV. Time Trax was super cool. It was about a guy that could travel through time. Thus he became, A Man Apart from Time.

The next big thing

My wife and I started watching Battlestar Galactica the other night. It was pretty cool. Very "tv pilotish" but it was fun and it had cool effects for broadcast. The problem is that the series is only on SCI-FI, I think, so we can't watch the rest of the series. We actually really liked it. Then I played Half life 2 deathmatch complete with throwing radiators, toilets, chairs and shelves at the enemy to vanquish them. It was pretty sweetbees.

I was at working thinking about being not at work...

I'm so tired this morning. I didn't play any Half Life 2 yesterday due to watching Tad Hamilton on his show Las Vegas. It was mildly entertaining. It did have a bunch of women on it that were attracted to other women though. I thought it was icky though.

On a more non-icky note, I successfully did not watch DH on Sunday which is now, 2 sundays in a row. I already feel completely out of the loop too. I've decided that I'm not going to set aside any particular time to watch a show. Even The Apprentice. Top Model maybe, but not Wickedly Perfect, SuperNanny, Kissyfur, Committed, The Help or any show. I need all the time I can get to play videogames, which is a much more nobler pursuit anyway. Actually, if there are more Gap Christmas commercials that air, I'll probably watch those.

I don't do business with Omarossa

If I had a failing hamburger joint and I wanted to drive business, there is no way in hell that I would choose Omarrosa to be in any of my commercials. What is with people thinking that she is a star? She was on a gameshow for crying out loud. I am crying, by the way. She's not a celebrity. She's not anything. She's just a contestant. Good grief, Burger King. Your market share is bad enough.

Changes at work

My boss quit. I'm worried about my job status. Being a temp is crappy for that very reason. But in other news, I watched about 20 minutes of the SI model search. I have to say this: Paul Schafer and the CBS Orchestra. But SI sucks so bad. ATM is way gooder on so many levels. I thought the SI models were not nearly as pretty as the (some) Top Model models.

So everyone these days is saying stuff like I'm trying to build a scripted operator to automatically control the up-vector of an IK chain, but the quaternion spine won't parent to the global transform! Well, you just do what ol' I does in a time like this. The check is in the mail.

I watched Big Trouble in Little China 3 nights ago, but last night I watched the Bourne SuperMacys. I enjoyed it. I think I liked the first one better, but it was a good movie. I think my main issue with it was it's "Minority Report" cinematography. Some scenes were overly blurry and some were overly dark. It could have been my broken TV though.

My element is Night...er...Wind...whatever

I love Billy Ray Cyrus's new hit show on UPN or TNN or wherever. It's so heartwarming yet technical. I also love it when tv and movies try to show people typing. I remember in the crappy movie Assasins, Sly Staloney was supposed to be typing on a laptop, but he just sort of tapped his fingers in unison over the homerow the whole time. He also called floppy disks, "discs", which is a huge mistake. What a bunch of clowns is Hollywood and all of their self-absorption.

I loathe waking up and going to work

I have a joke. Actually it's more of a question. The Internet Movie Database is so lame. Has anyone really looked at their list of the Top 250? Monsters Inc. is one of the Top 250 films of all time? Return of the King is the second best film ever made? What a stupid thing that is. The loser fanboys flock to vote for their favorite movie and that's how you get flicks like Princess Mononoke on there. What a bunch of clowns.

Whoa, did you see The Amazing Race last night? What a sweetbees show. It was super gross to the max though.