A Simple Kind of Lives

I was watching Food Network the other day, the real Food Network I mean, not the Meals on the Tube network, and I saw my nemesis on it again.  Bilchel Bagrays.  I wish she would deep fry herself in her own EVOO brand of EVOO.  I actually saw the bottle, it's called EVOO and the caption on the bottle says "Who knows what it is, but it's yummo!"  That pretty much sums up the entire rachel ray experience right there, no food background other than eating, no food experience other than eating, no food theory.  She's just an accident.  A perky personality on TV who happened to be in the right place at the right time.  Or wrong place/wrong time depending on who's talking.  Since nobody is, it could be either sentence.  I also saw my other arch nemesis, some new girl with idiotic pigtails.  Here's a tip for you girl with the pigtails, you can't call something your own if it's been done for hundreds of years.  You can't call it "My Pomegranate Spritzer" when all that's in it is pomegranate juice ice cubes and lemon juice and seltzer water.  That is not "your' anything.  That's a bunch of ingredients that are commonly mixed together all over the world.  Just like your brains because your brains are filled with food from all over the world.