And still I see no changes

Jus' wakin' up in the mornin'. So the absence of all other bloxxex'x continues. Where are you guys? Here I am putting up 6 maybe 8 bloxxies a day, but from everyone else, nothing. Anyway, Half Life continues to terrify. There's one part where you are walking towards a tunnel and a zombified guy comes up out of the water. It's super-freaky.

I actually have a few games to play right now. Half Life of course, but also Homeworld 2 and Warhammer: Dawn of War. Because with me, it's all about the killing. I mean, it's all about the Bourne. Man.

Speaking of Man, I remember this book I checked out from the library called "After Man: A Zoology of the Future". It was super weird. But sort of cool to think about. I mean, what WOULD the earth look like if people hadn't screwed it up? It's all about the people. Man.

The worst part of my life

If I could change one thing about my day, I would make myself have magic powers so I wouldn't have to wake up until I want to. I hate waking up so much. Especially if it's still dark outside. I'm not saying I'm still scared of the dark, I beat that fear months ago, but if it's dark outside, I should either be playing computer games, scrabble, listening to music or sleeping, not waking up. When I woke up this morning, I just wanted to go back to bed and sleep till noon. I don't like sleeping in very much either, but sleeping is better than waking up. Actually, if I could change anything about my day, I'd make it so I didn't HAVE to sleep unless I wanted to. Think about how much I'd get done in the 4-8 hours I waste everyday just lying around in a vegatative state?

I'm playing Half Life 2. And much like when I started playing the first one, I am experiencing the effects of motion sickness even as I sit here and type. I played for 1.5 hours yesterday and I had to stop because the room was spinning. Not the room inside the computer, mind you, the room I was sitting in. But, oh my crapness, what an amazing piece of software. It's just incredible in every aspect, just like Jetpack.

The question to end all questions. Or answers. Whatever.

Why do pretty girls date loser guys? That is the question that will be unanswered the duration of the remainder of time. Speaking of time, did you know that time slows down as you approach warp factor 9? Yeah, I was watching Star Trek this one time and they got stuck in this parallel dimension/multi-verse and time slowed down, but not before the crazy Captain Kirk jumped through into our world. It was pretty cool. You know...people say that Crazy Captain Kirk is still here...somewhere...waiting for his time to rise up and take control...

In other news, I'm only going to watch 2 hours of tv a week max to give me more time to play games and kill videogames characters.

As seen on TV

I was thinking about something as I was playing with an orange peel and shooting the orange oil everywhere in a sweetbees mist of orange oil. Do you remember those commercials with Billy Mays of Oxyclean for that other cleanser Orange Clean? The ad says that they've "unlocked the power of orange oil". First of all, who says that there is any power in orange oil? As far as I can tell, orange oil is only good for making cool sparky flamy things in Cosmopolitans and for impressing nieces and nephews. Why did they pick orange oil? Why didn't they unlock the power of cat hair or xanthan gum? So what about the oxygen from Oxyclean? There is oxygen everywhere, but it doesn't clean anything. My shirt isn't clean. My bathroom isn't clean. My face isn't clean. This is just more marketing bullroar. Much to the delight of Ronco Food Dehydrator.

A David the Gnome Christmas

As everyone already knows, DH was on last night, but it wasn't a new episode. I guess the networks have decided that old episodes are better than new episodes. But thats alright, because it gave me a chance to try and install my new Half Life 2 pc game. Or more accuratly, it gave me a chance to try and free up another 5 gigs of space to install the game. But it's worth it to play a sweetbees game.

In other news, we had a special visit from the David the Gnome fairy. He brought us many magical wonderful things, and when he was done delivering the gifts, he did the David the Gnome Shuffle for 47 straight minutes!

It's funny to listen to people at work talk about stuff. You really get to know what a person is like when you hear them talking to other people. For instance, I now know that it is so inconvienint to bring a whole package of cream cheese to work and much simpler and easier to bring a "personal sized" packet. Wow. That is just so true. I hate being encumbered with a full sized package of cream cheese. But you know what they say: It's a mixed up world.

I am king here

I used to say that, but then, Frumix painted a glorious painting with those very words on it and thus, my catchphrase was stolen. So I invented a new catchphrase: So slide over here, and give me a moment, I've got to let you know, I've got to let you know...Yes sir, I've been saying that for years.

In movie news today, EA continues to monopolize the game industry. They recently bought 20% of Ubi, another larger developer, publisher. I predict that in 6 years, EA will be considered a media conglomerate.

So in game news today, Willy Wonka: The New Adventures of Charlie Bucket is coming to theatres as early as yesterday. I did see a production still and I must say that it looks pretty dorkus borkus. I just can't figure out who decided to use Donahue as Wonka. It just doesn't fit.

Actually today's "Hip Headline" goes to CBS who will bring back America's favorite CG primetime Sitcom, "Father of the Pride". Speaking for myself, but not truthfully, I think that show is wildy original and originally funny and funnily quirky. And to quote the 7up guy and the black teacher from Evolution, "This is the same quality animation you see in films". I'd just like to make a short addendum to that last statement: Actually, it's not. The Backyardigans has better animation and it's cuter and they have better adventures.

In conclorian, we here at The Green Bottle would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Sagat.

I remember one day working at Golden Corral...

Did anyone watch the apprentice? Did anyone watch the 3rd hour of it? Sheesh, boooooooooring. In the end, or, at the end of the 2nd hour, I think that the right person won. And that person is Kelly. But, I thought the projects were lamer than last year, and he didn't get a car for all his troubles. I still wish Nicole would have won Top Model, but, er...oh wait, wrong show. I still wish either Chris or Raj would have won The Don's love, but at least it wasn't Jen.

In other news, I saw a movie yesterday called "Underworld 2: The Cliche: The Hunger". On it's clicheability, I'll give it an 13 out of 10 and on it's Death Dealers, I'll give it a F for BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

"Don't worry, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys." I'm really bored right now at work which is why I'm blixxing. Frumix'x favorite movie is Leprechaun 4: In Space. Did you know? I feel that I am ordinary, just like everyone.

So Half Life 2 has been released, but my dream of actually working on it has not yet come to pass. Due to the complex "rigging" allowed by the Source Engine, animation in Half Life 2 would have been so awesome to work on. Add in that they've switched over to XSI, and you have a hugely fun game to develop. HL2 is totally sweetbees. I watched a buddy of mine play it and it was so cool to see the physics and the shooting and the sweet lighting. I'd buy it, but you know, it's expensive.

So, the big news for today is that America has a new Top Model. In the final episode, Amanda, Eva and Yaya were left. Amanda recieved the first cut of the evening which left Eva and Yaya to walk in the fashion show. They both got high marks from all the judges, but it came down to Eva's personality winning the day. It was a good episode. So, one show down, another one down tonight and that gives me 2 more hours per week to play games er...I mean, work on my Far Cry level. Which, bytheway, is going to be so sweet. I mean, really really sweet. More sweetbees than my last level, and more polished and finished looking. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do, but of course, I still have the pre-pro to do, which I'm getting better at everyday.

The other big news is that The Backyardigans is going to be on a half-hour later this saturday due to something.

An Update on Frumix

I have recently discovered that Frumix'x favorite bands are Dire Straits and Color Me Badd.

China is here

So I was bloxxing already this morning, but due to a freak pc/pancakes accident, I lost my blog. So, here's another blog. Let me remember what I had already typed. Oh yes, there are 2 shows that are ending this very week. The Apprentice on Thursday and Top Model on tomorrow. I'm kind of glad because I would like to put that time to some better usage by playing videogames.

So here's an important question. There is a person who is called a "Death Dealer". Yet there are 2 different interpretations of this. So the question becomes thus: When you think of a Death Dealer, do you want some latex clad brit poptart? Or do you want this guy? Haha, how many of you tried to click on the word "this"? Guess what? It's not a link! Oh that was so sweetbees. Anyway, Google image search for Death Dealer and look at the first 3ish. I believe that the choice is clear. The choice of a new generation.

If I had a glass of water for everytime someone asked to borrow a highlighter...

I'd be swimming in water! So I'm working on increasing my bo staff skills because that's a hot skills to have in the job market this days. Other important skills to have are paper-pushing skills and meaningless paperwork skills. Paper skills are HOT HOT HOT! Other things that are hot are gloves, worker bees and sweetbees. I'm at work right now so keep this blog on the DL if you know what I be sayin'. I still don't have a job in the gamingtastic industry, but really, who cares. Well, I care for one thing. I'm starting a new level using the powerful and delicious Far Cry engine.

Last night as I was enjoying the new hit show DH, I was thinking to myself, I'm really just watching a daytime show at night with outside lighting and better acting. But really, it's just the same. There is people getting killed, crazy monkeys, alliances, boardrooms, monkeys, crazy old cat ladies, sex, implied and actual, cheating, crazy monkeys and teri hatcher. I don't want to be known as someone who watches essentially, the new Dynasty and Dallas, so I'm seriously considering nixing it from my tv repitwaw.

In other news, nobody blogs anymore. But I guess I could see that one coming. What with all the trash campaigning against bloxxing that have been slung by the mudslingers Smeagol and Frumix. Hey, if you aren't against bloxxing, you're for bloxxing. It's as simple as that or possibly as simple as stoicheometry. I think that's what it's called anyway, you know, with the moles of this and 6.02x10 to the negative 23rd. What a fine day for science.

Last night I was talking to Smeagol. She said, Guess what I did. So I guessed. I was right too. Here's a transcription:

You were standing around outside waiting for B-Money to ride by, when the army of the 12 sweetbees came by looking for roll fizzlebeef but instead found you, but you said you were roll fizzlebeef and they were like sweetbees and you were all like sweetbees so then you went to raise some hell at the hogi yogi and they were all like whatever you were all like sweetbees

(end transcription)
So as you can see, Jared Fogle needs to throw some hotdogs at his face. In all honesty, his face is beginning to bother me less and less. I think it's because he doesn't make those annoying Slubway commercials anymore. Actually, it's because they got rid of that riotous duo of the annoying white guy who knows everyone and the annoying black guy who continously tries to steer bus riders to the slubway where he works. In the end though, it's the Fogle machine that wins for best use of a corporate stooge in a commercial.

Speaking of commercials, most are dumb. Yesterday, a very special someone bought me a carton of very special holiday beverage. I drank some and was delighted. I will drink some more, but only after I save the universe from invading alien warships. Speaking of warchips, the more I hear about Spielboring's War of the Worlds, the more I want to not want to see it. Modern times? Kids? Tom Cruise? Sheesh, we've already seen Independance Day. This movie, unfortunatly, is going to be lame lame lame. If you want to see aliens, read the book.

David the Gnome and the case of the stolen jewels

America's Top Model was really sweetbees yesterday. Anne got voted off after much hardship for the past couple episodes. They are all still in Tokyo and it looks like the series will wrap up there next week. My prediction for top model goes to Yaya with Eva coming in second. It's been a good show and with all the David the Gnome cameo's, it's going to be the feel-good comedy of the year.

I've been thinking of this almost everyday since this morning. David the Gnome and Jared Fogle of the cheese food giant Subway have a lot in common. They both dance the Gnome Shuffle. They both claim to love chicken the most. They both spent time in Attica. And they are both cartoons. So, it's a small world.

In other news, the Wing-Kong and the Chang-Sing are fighting today around 11am. Black blood of the earth.

Here is the part on David the Gnome when we dance.

To do the David the Gnome shuffle, hold out your arms and start walking from side to side, crossing your legs one in front of the other. Go about 3 steps and then move the opposite direction. David the Gnome was a quality show. Especially the episode called "David the Gnome teaches moral values". Luckily for me, my youngest sister, back in the day, was a "Davey" or a David the Gnome freak, so she'd always watch the show. I'm glad because then I could watch it without looking like I was really wanting to watch it.

This dirth of bloxxgs

If you haven't noticed, the bloxx' in this area have been going through what I'd like to call a "time of no bloxx'". More simply put, it means that the commentating on blogs and the making new blogs isn't happening at the rate that it once was. So in honor of this marvelous day, I'd like to sing a song:

Where in the world does a wormin live
There's only one way of knowing
Scientifically something something
Till we get to the place we're going

Hey Sherman, Hey Sherman
Is this where you dwell?

Uh-uh, he says
No way because it doesn't have that wormin smell

There's more of that great song actually, but I can't remember it. If anyone watches Nick Jr. out there, I'd recommend the Backyardigans.

In other news, I remember watching that old show called "Mayson and Clark". What a good show that was. It was definatly a prototype for todays hits such as Desperate Housewives, 2/3 Mens, ER and 60 Minutes and The View with Starr Jones.

So consider this your final warning. Blogs are made for blogging.

The Badness Index

There comes a part in every bloxxer's life where they have experienced the majority of life's experiences. This is my situation, of course. And to that end, it has come to my attention that many many people, real and non-real, would like me to compile a Badness Index to index all of life's badness. It's a simple idea, really. So without further ergo, Frumix and Associates is proud to present the 92th Tri-Annual Badness Index. 0 means bad--1000 means worse.

Leprechaun 4: In Space--977
(Insert movie or people or Stars! here) On Ice--456
Star Trek 5--311
The "Mixed Up World" video, submitted by Smeagol--9
"Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia--762
Paul Hamm--9.0
The Skulls--880
Jeepers Creepers--881
Ashlee Simpsons music--966
Skippy Peanut Butter commercials--351
Country Crock commercials--746
Calling Castle Wolfenstein "Wolfheiser" for the first year it was out...priceless
A (insert celebrity of the moment) Christmas--302
Internet Appliances--7
Shore Acres--2
All the new reality shows--689
GooGoo Dolls lyrics "What you feel is what you are"...?--415
"Progressive" music from 1989-1991--107
Taking Algebra I 3 years in Highschool plus 2 summer terms and then 2 semesters in college--999

And there you have it. Everything in the universe classified by its badness rating. Thanks goes to Frumix.