Hotdogs and pizza or some combination thereof

What a fine day for science. My birthday is also on today. I called some network execs and they said that they are going to run a special episode of DH for me. I thought that was pretty swell. I'm planning on eating some cake when I get home and doing some reading of bookages.

What I hope I get for my birthday is a gamecube, some white binders, a pack of wedgecaps, a bottle of old harper, some illegal fireworks, post-its, melt the guns, gogurt, slubway and Jared Fogle. Did you know that I saw him in person one time? He was sitting outside of a furniture store for fat people.

But I digress. The real issue here is that Fogle is a corporate stooge who's been packaged, bought and paid for by the Slubway of America foundation. Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green...

Here's another bloxx

Simply because I care about all you bloxxers out there. I've decided to take Rob's advice and start posting comments on other bloxxes around to drive traffic to this blox. That's the way the internet works, you see. Eventually I will make millions on banner ads and spam email.

You know that if someone ever asks you if you've ever wanted to own your own business, that you're being set up for some AMCrap thing. So, I've devised this simple solution to dealing with people who you thought were your friends. Here's a sample dialogue:

AMCrapper: Have you ever wanted your own business?

Me, or possibly you: Have you ever wanted to search for all your teeth with one eye?

And there you go. The quickest way to end all multilevel marketing pyramid schemers dreams of making money off you and all your friends.

In other news, I'm at work.

Frumix likes AFV

I've noticed that there has been a significant amount of damage going around these parts lately. People saying Halo 2 sucks or Perfect Strangers is "stupid" or no one wants Speilbergo to direct something as potentially awesome as War of the Worlds or that so and so isn't bloxxing or that Desperate Housewives is sultry and on and on. What I'd like to ask is? Where is the love?

So I'd also like to ask this question. Did anyone watch Americ'as Next Top Model because I missed last week due to an intrusion into my personal life. Oh well, it's on again today so I'll catch up with it. DH isn't on for 2 weeks and this kind of thing really pisses me off to no end.

In conclusion I'd like to say thanks for the sweetbees DVD. It's wicked funny with emphasis on wicked. Just like Harry Potter, which is also wicked. HArRy!

Frumix likes AFV

I've noticed that there has been a significant amount of damage going around these parts lately. People saying Halo 2 sucks or Perfect Strangers is "stupid" or no one wants Speilbergo to direct something as potentially awesome as War of the Worlds or that so and so isn't bloxxing or that Desperate Housewives is sultry and on and on. What I'd like to ask is? Where is the love?

So I'd also like to ask this question. Did anyone watch Americ'as Next Top Model because I missed last week due to an intrusion into my personal life. Oh well, it's on again today so I'll catch up with it. DH isn't on for 2 weeks and this kind of thing really pisses me off to no end.

In conclusion I'd like to say thanks for the sweetbees DVD. It's wicked funny with emphasis on wicked. Just like Harry Potter, which is also wicked. HArRy!

I would just like to...

I mean, I would just like to comment on a show that I was watched last night. It was called SNL. There sure is a lot happening with SNL these days, and it's all craptastic. I watched for about 2 minutes, the popular Weekend Update with that Fey girl and that other girl that no one cares about. For a "funny" show, it sure was "gross and perverted". Which leads me to my next point, which is, SNL has sucked for years and until they go off the air forever, it will never be a good show.

But, I watched DHousewives tonight. What a sweetbees show. It was really good with the drama and the car chases and the drugs. Teri Hatched started stripping. That's just an observation. In other news, it's the best show on Suntag, except for America's Next Top model which appears on Wednestag.

I have recivived some comments from everyone stating that they love DOS games. I would like to recommendatize some. Jill of the Jungle is great. Zone 66 is great. ROTT is awesome. Doom 2 is awesome. Jazz Jackrabbit is awesome. Fire Fight is fun, but it's for windows 95. Anyway, the moral of the story is that Far Cry has awesome graphics, but lame gameplay.

Does Halo 2 suck?

I'd like to answer that question with a question. Are videogames over-hyped? I'd like to answer the question of that answer with another question. Why does a game sell 2.3 million albums in a single day? The answer to this question and other answers and questions can be yours if you but continue to read.

Lets look at all the new and original features done in Halo 2 as a reason for it to sell 2.3 million records in the first day. As with any FPS shooter, weapons are essential. One of the cool things that Halo has it that you can hold 2 weapons at the same time! That's a pretty neat trick. I mean, I haven't seen that kind of thing since...well, Rise of the Triad. Oh how about this cool thing. You can only hold 4 weapons or something. What an awesome "feature".

So, moving on to the awesome vehicles. First of all, VEHICLES IN A GAME??! That's the craziest mojo I've ever heard of! Again, beaten to the punch by games years ago.

Of course the most original element of the game is the "Grand Theft Auto Style Vehicle Jackings". How cool is that? And original! As you can probably guess, in order to appeal to the GTA fans, they've included the trademark feature of the most idiotic gaming franchise of all time. What a smart move. But I guess if they think they need the 11 year old demographic, well...

How about those textures? Sure, they look good. So does the normal mapping. What we have here is a graphics vs. gameplay issue. Does a good looking game warrant a 2.3 million New York Times bestseller? Well? Do ya punk?

Halo 2 is like a bad Friends episode, well, A Friends episode. It's all "been there, done that" quality. Nobody cares that Ross loves Rachel. Nobody thinks that Rachel is funny. Nobody cares about the Gellar Family Cup. But perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe the story is the big draw here. Maybe the magical cliffhanger ending is pulling everyone into it.

What I'm saying here, besides that Friends is overrated and lame, is that Halo 2 is the same game as Halo which is the same game as Quake 3 which is the same game as it's progenitors all way down to Blake Stone, which was damn close to Wolf 3d. Quake 1 was the first game to really raise the bar and every other FPS has had few differences. Search for this, kill this, fall here, die over there, open this door, shoot this, find this secret area and so on. What'd I'd like to recommend is for everyone to start playing Rise of the Triad.

I know this is wanton Halo bashing, but I think it's ridiculous that the same tired formula can bring such huge number of people to a concert. On a monday, I was waiting, for someone to, bring me some talent. Ashlee is a hack and I hope her career sinks to the depths of Hades. Good Day!

Since everybody else is doing it...

Here's an updated cast list for the movie "Leonard Part 6 II: The Hunger"

Oh yeah, this time around, any character, actor, cartoon or gummi bear is eligible for casting.

The Dad: Conan the Barbarian
The Mom: Mrs. Keaton

The Brother: Conan the Host
The Brother's Wife: The Olson Twins

Me: Clay Aiken
Me's Wife: Red Sonja
Baby A: Hercules
Baby B: Heracles


The Younger Sister: Teri Hatcher
The Younger Sister's Husband: Cubbi Gummi
The Little Guy: Nemo

The Youngest Sister: Some form of plantae, possibly fungi or Dr. Huxtable

So as you can see, this is the greatest assemblence of talent from any cast of any kind of all time. Check us out at the Internet Movie Database.

Welcome to Blogtown

Top Model last night was freakishly good. The plus size Tocarra got the chop. It was too bad though, because it's like she gave up on the competition. She lost the flair that she had at the beginning and thus, was tyrimated. I had to agree with Princess Tyra this time around though. The remaining girls are actually pretty good, I think. My prediction for next week's cut is Anne.

Currently, I watch these shows:

Top Model, UPN
Desperate Housewives, ABC
The Apprentice, NBC
Scrubs, NBC

And that's pretty much it. I did watch Law and Order last night and SUV the other night, but I didn't really like either of them. It's not the DA's problem though, I'm just getting weary of the stories.

Thank you for tuning in to The Green Bottle

Here we are together again in cyberspace. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my loyal viewers. I've been in blogging for almost 26 years now and I've built up some fantastic viewship. Like Frumix and Smeagol to name the only two. When I get home from work today, I'm going to play Animal Crossing and Zelda and then do some character animation and modeling so I can get a job as a character animator. Level design is super cool and all, but what I really really want is animation. That 70's Show is really funny.

I applied at more companies

But nowhere out of state. I applied at Square-Enix and a smaller studio too. I don't know how I feel about it yet, but as usual, I think I have a good shot at it. Especially when they find out about my knife-throwing skills.

In other news, here are some movies everyone should see:

Casablanca-the greatest movie of all time
The Goonies-the best adventure movie ever made
Conan the Barbarian-awesome movie, terrific soundtrack
The Lost Boys-I don't know, but it has Bill in it
The 21 Jump Street Aloha Special-Depp is the greatest actor of modern times
Saved by the Bell Fiesta Texmex Party show-Zak Attak 4-EVER!
The Case of the Missing Taco Bites-3 for 1 dollar

Well, back to "work".

I have an important job

I've been putting paper into binders for an hour. Is it important? Yes. Is it fun? Yes. Would I like to make a career out of it? Yes. In other news, I'm so mad, I've decided to verbally attack Jared Fogle's acting ability:

Jared Fogle's acting ability is atrocious!

A trade meeting? What in the fizzlebeef is a trade meeting?

I have a trade meeting tomorrow. It's at a Red Lion Inn. I like those Inns and their fine French Milled Soap. Those soaps bring a high price on the soap market. If you can find one, that is. I once had the greatest collection of fine Motel soaps known to man. But Frumix stole it from me and left them all in a bathtub so they got all gross with Frumix water. The authorities were powerless. My collection was reduced to a ghost of a shadow of a nothing. The Nothing has you. So, I'm going to get some French Milled soap at this Red Lion and not even The Frumix can stifle me.

In other news, most of what I just said isn't true. Frumix actually had his own collection too. But it contained the incredible amber colored Glycerin soap bartered off a seedy motel in a small port town, of which there was no comparison.

Working at the plant

I'm working here at the data entry plant. I believe the words of Shee-ra Queen of the Jungle are appropriate here: "Why did you touch your lips to mine?" Last night I tried to play Diablo 2, but my firewall isn't cooperating. So I can't host the games, which is a bummer because I have some sweetbees characters.

In other news, I'm really tired and Frumix stole the money. Frumix: The choice of the next generation of Taco Bites. I've been yawning in-ceasing lately. And I just fell asleep in the bathroom for 15 minutes and there is a huge red mark on my forehead. I'm so tired. Last night I tried playing Diablo 2 with some friends, but my router is giving me the fits and won't accept incoming connections. So I did a decision last night to try again.

A good show is on TV

And that good show is Desperate Housewives. I've watched 2 episodes and in all seriousness, it is sweetbees. I really like it. It's not at all what I thought it was. It's a mystery. Sort of like a soap, but with better acting. And outdoor lighting. And it's funny. And sort of weird. I loathe ABC with a fiery passion of sweetbees goodness, but they came out with a winner this time around.

In other news, all other shows on right now are crap mainly. Lost is about a 4 out of 10. CSI'z are about 7 out of 10. LAO's are about 6.5-7 out of 10, depending on which DA you are talking about and the local news with all it's stories about lost animals is about 1 out of 50.

I'm going back to work tomorrow, but I wanted to comment that I have recieved 2 comments now from people that I don't know. So, how cool is that? Cool. It's cool. And one more thing, anyone who cares about animation or graphics or graphic animation or magic science owes it to me to watch the World of Warcraft cinematic intro. It's got some sweetbees stuff. Cloth sims, particle sims, incredible texturing and lighting, awesome animation and insane FS. I mean, FX.

We all chipped in and bought you this gift

I'm really tired. I've been going to be...hey wait a second. There is something I need to clarify here. Progresso soup is not better than Campbells. I'm no soupologist or something, but Progresso should really be called MSGresso because it's so salty and MSG filled. MSG has long been known as a carcinogen and also causes cancer and is bad. It's drugs. Drugs are bad and your brain is on drugs. So, in other news, MSGresso soup doesn't taste very good. But most canned soup doesn't. Unless you can it yourself. Get it? Can yourself? I get the chinese newspaper. Work is dragging on through the hours. In and out of weeks, I work, until I reach Where the Wild Things Are. What an awesome book. Here's some other awesome books:

Frumix and the Skibildy Bonks
Rama
Narnia
The Crab Grabbers
Harry Potter
Bill Peet
The Time Machine
Science fiction
How to draw animals by Lee J. Ames

So you can see that respite that everything thinks I can't read good, I read good. Look at my impressive list of accomplishments in the book form and you will see that I can more than just read good. Frumix took the money and my blog. So where's the money Frumix?

What a bunch of clowns

I'm sitting at work, doing this thing stealthy. Like a ninja. Last night I watched some TV and played with my kids. I have 2 of them. Now the question is, did I mean kids or TV's? Well, actually it's both. Or bolth as some say. Some people also say warta instead of water and shtreet instead of street. What a bunch of clowns. I still haven't gotten past level 8 in the in famous curveball.

A quality evening of TV

Top Model was super awesome last night. Everyone's least favorite bilemic went home losing out to the quirky plus size, Toccarra. It was awesome. Smeagol's favorite show continues to get lamer and lamer. At first, sitings of the firebull were frequent, but have get less every new episode. I watch TV to see firebulls, not fake hobbits with fake drugs. So on Top Model last night, the models were going out to different clothes designers in New York. Between one of the stops, 3/4 of the girls went to buy some new shoes and the van left without them. It was really funny. They got scolded. Test your might. The most important thing that happened yesterday though, was the crushing defeat of Duriel at the hands of the powerful ice sorc. Laurette. For those who know, it took 52 times of entering his lair and casting moderatly weak Hydras everywhere and then running for my life. For those who don't know, you are a bread. Speaking of bread, I had some delicious bread last night. It was delicious.

In the western town of deasflfs....

Let me be parficulatory for one moment. What's everyone's damage? Just because you haven't blogged since the beginning of the Magnesium age doesn't mean you can take your damage out on my trusty blog. In other news, Bush won the election just like I've been saying. So, now ABC should give me a TV spot/endorsement because I'm a political blogger and I think I know about politics and magic and science and magic science. I've been thinking about my blog and I will continue to do so. I remember one day when Frumix and his pyra friend showed our family how to blow-up army guys with pewter and matches. I remember another time with Frumix threw a handful of well-known cheesy cracker goodness into the car of a complete psycho. I only wish I had thought of it first. Because then I would have eaten the cheesy-goodness. Don't touch my cheesy-selects.

I don't know what everyone's damage is about.

So what's everyone's damage? I get blogdered and then no one posts any commentz. Well guess what. So I'm at work again. I think I have about 5 minutes every morning to bloxx. It's the American Way. Today is the election day. I would vote Repub. but I forgot to rejister. I feel sheepish. Smeagol's favorite show is on today. I played Animal Crossing yesterday. It's fun. I've decided that instead of spending my time playing non-rewarding videogames, I'm going to draw. My art skillz have suffered the past few years due to my bow-hunting skillz. I'm going to rent or download Napolean Dynamite. Blogging: It makes the world go 'round.

I ain't gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe trick

Well what do we have here. It looks like the satin shoe is on the other Frumix this time. So how does the shoe feel Frumix? Is it cushy like a new pair of Jordan 5's? I remember my first pair of Jordans. A classmate of mine in 6th grade one day, gave me his pair of used Jordan's. But they were so nice. And I felt pretty cool as I wore them home from the bustop. Now all I wear are flipflops. But not the really soft kind I bought in the Philippines. Now I just have some rotting Adidas that I refuse to put to pasture because they are still cushy. I would just like to put to rest the notion that I have stlogging. Stlogging means "stopped blogging." Because I do it. Everyday. Sort of.

Just wakin' up in the morning

I don't know but today seems kinda odd. In other news, everyone that has been making fun of me lately is just a hosers. Lets do a comparison: Smeagol's blog hasn't been updated since the fall of Rome. In other news, I'm taking a risk doing this at work, but hey, get off my back you hoser. I saw the movie "The Sludge" and it was pretty stupid. Especially the sludge that comes through the seeling and tries to goop up that old lady and the girl who are talking. If I wanted to see a movie about sludge, I would have watched Rocky 3. Never give up on the good times.