Here's a nice selection of jokes

I told these to my niece today:

What did the flea say to the dog?
Nice to bite you

What do you call a tree on a farm?
a farmtree

What's grey and blue and high in the sky?
the sky

For everyone that hates commercials as much as I do

I found a cool site on MSN that talks about how stupid commercials can be.  It's not entirely funny, but it is a cool place to go when you want to kill some commericals.  Here's the link.  It's actually the search page for the Ad Report Card by Slate mazagine.  Anyway, there' s some good articles in there.  That's some nice flutin' boy.

Hearty Meat Sauce

Have you ever seen a commercial this is so stupid because it makes it seem like whatever the product they are selling is something that will bring your family closer together?  On this one Slubway commercials of yesteryear, a father and a son are out on a boat fishing and eating slubway together.  Slubway wants you to believe that eating Slubway products will make you a better person.  Same with Pillsbury and Coke products.

Anyway, so what does this all boil down to?  That Britney Spears has lost the battle of the spotlight.  Hahahaha, I've been saying it for years.  She's on the way out.  I predict the next wave of popular music is rock for girls.  It's already sort of happening now, but it's going to get bigger.

And finally, here's today's Harry Potter predications:

-The Dursleys reveal themselves as powerful magic-users and defend Harry from dementors.

-The Order of the Phoenix is ambushed and mostly killed because of a traitor among them

-Hermione begins animagus training with Harry.  She is able to turn into a raccoon.

-Harries father is revealed to him by Voldemort as a Death Eater who betrayed his family, but was killed anyway.

As you can see, my predictions are bullet-proof.  I've already read the next 2 books anyway.  You can get there here.

I have something to inform you of

I was looking my blog just right now and it looks like I haven't blogged since this morning.  Well, I need to fix that.  I also entered a poem-making contest but when I tried to submit the poem, the web server crashed so I lost my poem.  I was a bit mad.  That poem took me the better part of the morning.  I'm so tired right now.  I have not very much work to do here, but there's ton of stuff I want to do when I get home today.  I want to play with my kids, do yoga, work on my portfolio and do some other stuff.  This is a boring entry.  But I guess the boring entry mirrors my boring life.

Spectacular to the sweetbees cubed

Someone once said that they have a problem with Hellboy. My question is Hellboy is a good movie with a good message about monsters and firegirls. In other news, whiteninjacomics is pretty funny.  In other news, I watched the DNC yesterday and it's more and more obvious.

So in movie news today, the top movies of all time are The Neverending Story and The Goonies and The Conan and The Space Camp and The Howard Duck.  I would have taken more anti-personality tests but some people have told me to stop taking them.  Well, it's oblivious that they are one with the problems.   Like paranoid-ia and other things.

And for all you Rocco-freaks out there: http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/07/27/leisure.restaurant.reut/index.html.  It seems like he's lost the battle for...The Restaurant.

And for all my super next top model freaks out there, Holler If Ya Hear Me!  Last night was the riveting finale episode that pit 2 bonethin skankhoes against each other in a walk-off.  One of the girls won, but nobody really cares anyway.

About The Village

I have a strong impression that I know how it's going to end up, but I can't tell you except that it has to do with little bugs.

I'm so tired

I'm so tired because I've taken too many personality tests. I have so many problems. I'm a paranoid, narcissitic guy with multiple personalities and strong anti-social tendencies. But I DO like sharks. And anacondas. You know that if I could a get a pet right this very minute and have it be at my house when I get home, I'd have to pick a king cobra. Do you know how awesome those things are? They are AWESOME TO THE MAX-TREME! I've seen several in zoos and I just want to have one for my own because they just look so sweetbees.

First Personality Disorder test of the day

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Very High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

And while I wish that there were percentages here, I think the words speaking for themselves.

Everyone should have a hit French Album

Do you remember the movie, The Glimmer Man? That was a real rip-snorter with Zaz, Kapowza and Bing-Bang. Anyway, the leading man has decided to pursue a career in music: www.nonsoloblues.com/steven_uk.html. And I just love french music played by an ex-action star. Do you remember when Arnie started doing Hotwheels commercials in Russia or Halle Berry was doing Maggi noodles commercials in the Philippines? Well, it's sort of like that except that Stevie is singing. I mean, he sort of knows how to talk, but to sing? I don't know about that. And why hasn't he released his chart topper in the states? Anyway, here's some more HP predictions for you:

-Ron doesn't die
-Harry dies
-Demetors are burned in the depths of the sun
-Harry teaches the Dark Arts class
-Hogwarts gets High Speed Cable Internet
-Harry must return to see the Spider King for an extra special request
-Hermione is kidnapped by the darkside and almost turns

More predictions later. M to the C to the A.

I'm getting so good at these things

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth |||||| 14% Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Emotional Stability ||||||||| 22% Aggressiveness ||| 10% Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 50% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Social Assertiveness |||||| 14% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Paranoia |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Introversion |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 54% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Independence |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Perfectionism |||||| 14% Tension |||||||||||| 38%

Take Free 16pf based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

If I take more personality tests, does that mean I have more personality?

Eysenck's Test Results

Extraversion (20%) low which suggests you are very quiet, unassertive, and aloof. Neuroticism (72%) high which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and nervous. Psychoticism (40%) moderately low which suggests you are good natured, trusting, and helpful but possibly too much of a follower.

Take Eysenck's EPQ-R based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I wasn't really expecting this

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Apparently, I have some issues

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 74% Antisocial |||| 14% Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78% Histrionic |||||| 26% Narcissistic |||||| 26% Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 78% Dependent |||| 14% Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 14%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Far and Away

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism || 9% Type 2 Helpfulness |||| 13% Type 3 Image Focus || 10% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 73% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 53% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 37% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||| 14% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||| 77% Your Conscious-Surface type is 5w4 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 6w5

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

I think this is the best test I've taken so far. It was interesting, accurate and fantasmic. So, one more personality test down, a billion to go. I like those odds.

Another hour, another personality test

Global Personality Test Results

Sensate (26%) low which suggests you are very analytical, unemotional and objective. Perfectionist (20%) low which suggests you tend to be very unreliable, lazy, careless, and unmotivated. Extrovert (26%) low which suggests you are very quiet, introverted, and aloof.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

In my quest to take all personality tests known to man, here's another one. I've begun to sense a pattern in the conclusions of the personality tests.

A Stolen Treasure Map?

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Well, it's official. I'm in Ravenclaw, my favorite house. That means I'm super smart, and every one RC thinks I'm the most!

I saw the Bourne Supremancy this morning.  It was the rootenest, tootenest Wild West thrill ride of the past year!

Harry Potter predications

Making Harry Potter predications seems to be all the raze these daze. So add these to your harry potter stuff:

*Harry Potter is NOT the prisoner of Alzkatran
*Ron dates Hermione
*This whole series has been a dream and the last words of the last book will be "and Harry woke up"
*Ginny is flursmarshed by her two brothers
*Fudge aligns with Voldemort unbenkownsted to anyone by Dumbledore
*Harry does not defeat the dark wizard
*Dumbledore sacrifices himself for the good of Hogwarts
*Draco becomes Headboy

More to come on this later. I've already read both books. They are available for download.

New changes happening all around

If you haven't noticed, I've done some custom mods to the webpage here.  There wasn't much I wanted to because it's already a great design.  But I did mod the links and considered doing one of those "What I'm Doing" things on the sidebar over there --->.  So other than that, it's been an uneventful day here at work.  The Frumix hasn't updated the blog yet so I just don't even know what to do about that.  In movie news, much to my complete surprise and absolute shock, Catwoman is opening to not quite good, but throughly dismal reviews.  I expected it to be the movie to launch Cats, not only on broadway, but in book form as well.  Also, in other print mediums and comic books.  Cats:  The Movie is a terrific diversion from all these psuedo comic book movies gone comic books. 

Ever hear of a little show called "Branded"?

I was just at work, not working, when I thought that it might be the perfect time to create an entry in my blog.  Yesterday I read a cool article on the 50 worst songs of all time.  Check it out here.  I would agree with most of it.   I thought some songs were missing from the list, particulary one from Eddie Murphy.  I didn't agree with the number one song either.  I think there are far worse songs than that.  For instance, anything from Eddie Murphy.

Yesterday was a slow day for purchase orders.   I only did one the whole day and I got it around 3:30.  When I got home I started playing The Four Swords:  Life in the Zelda Groove.  It's a sweetbees game with sweetbees mutliplayer.  Today I brought a sketchbook to work and I'm going to try and show some discipline and actually draw something when I'm at work.

Ensign Crusher

We all know that Star Trek wouldn't quite be the show it was without the unpredicitiablitiy of Wil Wheaton.  So, check out his website.  It's full of the Wil goodness that most of us have missed in the past 15 years.  He really is a credit to humanity.

Real Muggles

I've recently contributed a large amount of time to studying the works of NK Stouffer, the woman who REALLY invented Muggles, Magic and Mayhem.  If I had the money, I'd donate to her cause.  You can tell that JK Rolling is a fraud because her books are terribly written and the whole story behind the story of HP, the one where she made the whole thing up on a napkin in some coffeehouse or something, I mean, c'mon.  That's a fake napkin story if I've ever heard one.

I just drove to work and boy are my arms tired

Here's a little something to think about.  If you are in a car driving 30 mph on an interstate towards Sacramento and someone else in is a car driving 75mph on an interstate towards DC, what's the answer?   The answer is you are going too slow so pull over so I can pass!!  So far this morning, nothing to do at work.  I won't bore you with the details, but trust me, it's boring.  I've decided I'm going to take some more quizzes and see what I need to do with my life.  Oh yeah, my IQ is 124.

Check this action out!

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Second poast of the dae

Well, for my next lecture, I'd like to talk about The Neverending Story.  What a delicious movie that has turned out to be.  Yes, it has some funnyness in it, like when Atreyu first gets blown off the tree by Moola the Aged One, it's quite obvious that the boy that gets blown off the tree is not Atreyu, but a strange imposter of sorts who seems to enjoy taking the falls.  Or the part where you can see the spinning support under the asteroid as it spins through the vast emptiness of what's left of fantastica.  Or the part where you can see the dwarf that has hung himself inside the attic where Bastian is reading the book.

One of the things that we like to talk about here is The Brady Bunch.  Another thing we like to talk about is the mystery animal of Maryland.  Now, I don't know about you, but to me, this is obviously Zuul from the documentary Ghostbusters.

First post of the day and it's already 12:40?

What gives with that?  Anyway, I've noticed a trend on TV that is too stupid to be disturbing.  There seems to have a been a 200 percent increase of corporate advertising bullroar.  Lets look at Gilette for instance.  What in the world is a "micro shaving system"?  And what in the world is a "micro pulse"?  Is this not just a razor?  Does it really, I mean, *really* make the hairs on your face stand up for easier shaving?  I don't believe that it does, or it does just enough, which could be just a tiny amount, just so they can hype it up on TV.  Here's another one.  Ganier, the hair people.  What is a "micro fruit wax"?  There is so much stupid corporate bullroar on the TV these days.  One of my most hated commercials right now is the "Tension Headache" from Excedrin or Advil or Badpil or whatever.  Very very annoying.  I would expect this kind of thing in the Philippines, but c'mon.  Here?  In the philippines there was this particular kind of orange drink, like Tang, but a different name, oh yes, it was call 8'o'Clock.  Anyway, they advertised that it contained this special ingreidient called QX-99 or something.  Obviously bullroar.  Anyway, I think that consumers all over the world need to realize that the amount of commercial bullroar is at all time high levels.  It seems like one of the only products out there that doesn't come with a lot of bullroar is Dove.  3/4 moisturizer.  They don't even need to tell what the moisturizer is because that would make it corporate bullroar.  So, Dove, thank you.

Today in the Infostation It's Miracle Lucky Time with the super sexy M.

I love Miracle Lucky Time.  Anyway, I was thinking about my brother's Atari Lynx.  He had the newer model, not the big old one.  His was sleek and sharp with clean lines and smooth graphics.  Not to mention stereo sound!  But I remember playing California Games and being the best in the world at surfing.  I once pulled a quadruple 360!  It was OFF THE HOOK!  But then I would start playing hacky sack and I wouldn't even get 100 points because I wasn't any good.  But in the half-pipe, that was a different story for sure.   I used to be so good it was like I was going to fly away to the  moon! 
 
If you want to watch a really funny movie, you should watch A very Brady sequel.  It's super funny.  Or for the decade impaired, it's totally groovy in a far-out happening kind of way.  If you want to play a really cool videogame, you should try Mr. Driller or Rainbow Cotton.
 
I still haven't actually received any envelope stuffing materials yet.  But they did ask for 300 hundred more dollars.  And since I gave them cash, maybe it takes a while to process the transaction.  I'm sure they're going to help me out so I can start stuffing envelopes for 3DOLLARS PER ENVELOPE!!!  That's $3000 A DAY GUARANTEED!  But for now I work at a small telecommunications reseller.  And while I don't make quite that much, someday soon, I will be stuffing envelopes full of junk mailers for you, the reader.

I've been looking for some new shows

I was just on Pollstar hoping that I hadn't missed the Rush concert for their 30th anniversary, but I did.  And with that, I missed tasting history.  Fleetwood Mac's dates have also passed.  Face to Face is going to be here on Sept. 9th though and we all know how much fun their shows are.  Right?  Right?  Anyway, I was thinking about NES games again.  I think my number one game that should be redone is Kid Icarus.  That game is legendary.  You don't just play it.  You experience it.  I also think I should be the art director for the game.  I'm a good director and I love NES games.  Why shouldn't I be?  I've actually done some rough sketches of what I think he should look like.  It would be an awesome game.
 
In other news, Michael Jackson is going to be a father of quadruplets.  Those lucky kids.  I can't believe I missed the Rush concert.  I'm so mad at myself.  I just noticed as I glace around the office that because the 2 bosses are gone already, people are quietly starting to leave.   And it's only 2pm!  THAT'S OFF THE HOOK!

I can play guitar

I've even mesmerized a phew kords.  What do you think about that?  Guitar is pretty cool, but my fingertips are hurting to the extreme!  I can play "Down in the valley" and some other stuff.  I'd like to go electric eventually, but right now I just need to work on actually learning how to play instead of going straight to rockstardom like most of the kids nowaday.
 
I have learned to play Discovery from 2112 from Rush from the album called 2112.

is anything REALLY funny anymore?

I was just thinking about something my brother told me the other day.  When was the last time you saw movie that was really funny that wasn't a satire of other movies?  I can't even think of any off the top of my head.  I mean, Jem was really funny, but it's not on anymore.  Speaking of Jem, it came out on Rhino DVD and I'm seriously considering thinking about possibly looking into checking them out from the library.
 
In other news,  this blog is brought you to by Sugarman's Potted Meat Food Product.
 
So I took the bus to work today.  As it got closer to 8oclock, I was getting worried because I had no idea where I was.  But as fate would have it, the bus dropped me off right in front of my building, sort of.
 
 

Bored at work

I'm bored at work and I've only been here for 7 minutes.  So far this morning, I don't have a thing to do, but I noticed that there are 2 almost full boxes of pizza sitting in the lunchroom.  Well, I don't think I have to tell you that I'll be tappin' that before the day is out, if you know what I mean.  At work yesterday there was a big to-do about a form called a Master License Agreement.  I need the MLA to approve the approve the transaction, but the salespeople are suppose to get the MLA before they sell anything.  So basically, they've sold products/services that we can't legally give them.  So, I've been trying to get them to give me their MLA's so I can approve the transaction and move on with my life.  Marvelous huh?
 
In other news, The Goonies for Nintendo was such an awesome game.   I never beat it, but I did have a lot of fun playing it.  You might even call it the best game in the Americas.  Here's some other games I really enjoy:
 
Life Force, Legend of Scherezade, Stinger, Contra, Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom, The Guardian Legend, Castlevania and so many others.  I get really nostalgic thinking about Nintendo.  Oh yeah, Megaman 2 also.  New games just don't have the same thrill factor.  How many FPS's do we really need?  Synergize!

In case you haven't checked lately...

I've added a new picture of myself in the profile.  It's actually from my fourth grade school picture.  I was going through a transitional phase.  So, anyway, I've been reading about Hellboy for the past, oh, probably 6 hours, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to buy the first TPB and then I'll read it and then I'll think about what I've read and then I'll talk about what I've read to my blog who automatically records my thoughts.
 
As I've thought about things like Jem and Gummi Bears and Ducktales this past 2 days, I've wished that I had a TV channel that had every cartoon show on that has ever been on TV.  I'd call it "Cartoon Channel".
 
My IQ is 124 according to a scientific test on Tickle.com.  That makes me the richest person in Astoria.  Speaking of Goonies, I heard they were making a Goonies movie again.  It's about the Goonies finding a magic ring that grants wishes and makes you invisible.  It's called Goonies:  The Hunger.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia is so dudical-ness.  I was nostalgitizing this afternoon because I haven't done a lick of work since I got here and I just really like that feeling.  In other news, I'm going to the Fleetwood Mac concert in Seattle!  In other news, I'm not really, but I would love to go.  I bet it'd be way good.  In other news, I WILL be attending the Rush concert on July 2nd.  In other news, it would appear that I've missed it.  Do you know what movie I really want to see?  It's called The Neverending Story.  It's about Atreyu and his quest to save all Narnia from the power of the White Witch.

Lost another loan to Ditech

I've already lost sooo many loans to Ditech.  I've been learning the guitar this weekend because now I have one to practice on where as before all I had was my air guitar, which rocked obviously, but the sound quality just wasn't there.   In bigger news, my sister birthed a baby boy this weekend.  I haven't seen him in person yet, but I did see the pictures over the internet.  Fantasmic, that's what I say.
 
So, about Gummi Bears.  At work I was singing the Gummi Berry Gummi Berry Juice song and several of my co-workers joined in.  I guess you never know where you'll meet other fans.  It was a great experience.  I think one of my favorite episodes was the one where Cubby gets the flute from Zummy, but it actually summons a huge water dragon that they fly around on and burn some of Igthorne's Castle.  That was a cool episode, plus the one where they find Gusto.  I never really liked Gusto so much, but the "whole in the ocean" was a cool sequence.
 
 

Gummi Berry Gummi Berry Juice

I just finished reading the episode guide for the Gummi Bear series.  I remember most of those episodes too.  One of my favorites was where Cubbi and a ghost knight had to stop a wizard from turning the doomsday clock on.  It was freaky at the time.  I remember the last episode too, but I can't remember how it actually ended.  Did the Gummi's of G.Glen move to the barbarian gummi's abandoned city?  Did they finally leave to New Gumbrea to be with the great Gummi's?  I love that show.  It was so entertaining.  So much better than anything else from Disney on TV.  Ducktales, of course, comes in second and all the other stuff sucked.  Especially Darkwing Duck.  Stupid stupid stupid.  Talespin had some cool ideas, but that stupid kid was totally lame.  Rescue Rangers was just ridiculous.  I mean, talking rodents and time-traveling?

Untitled for a good reason

I was surfing the web right now and I found a cool site.  Here's the link:  http://www.angelfire.com/la/Holograms/index.html.  For anyone in the know, just by looking at the title, you can see the word Holograms spelled in plain language.  And where's there's Holograms, there is most definatly, Jem.  Jem was a hallmark moment in cartoon-dom because it fused rock stars with magic computers and schizophrenia all in one TRULY OUTRAGEOUS half-hour of tv!  My brother watched Jem at 3:30 everyday and told me he was in love with Jem.
 
Wow, all of this talk about Jem has made me want to talk about Jem some more.  I remember one episode where Pizazz, the leader of the rival "punk" band, The Misfits, somehow comes across a lasergun.  And also in the same episode she comes across a jetpack and starts flying around the city shooting her lasergun at signs of Jem.  It was truly outrageous.

Here's a little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane

I was sitting here thinking about The Neverending Story.  Remember the part at the end where Atreyu asks the Auryn to guide them to the Ivory Tower?  Well, after the Auryn glows a bit, some asteroids finish moving out of the way to reveal the Ivory Tower.  My question is this:  Atreyu should have just been more patient. 
 
Another thing about that great epic is towards the end, where Atreyu meets The G'mork, The Gman says "if you come any closer, I'll rip you to shreds", but later, or earlier, tells Atreyu that he has the honor of being the Gman's last victim.  So, my question is that the Gman shouldn't give conflicting advice.  If he's going to eat Atreyu he should have said, "Come closer, you who have the honor of being my last victim". 
 
I think one of the cooler parts of that movie involve The Southern Oracle.  I think they look pretty cool with all their un-earthly blueish glow.  Too bad they give Atreyu the wrong information about the boundaries of Fantasia.  If I were Atreyu, I sure would hate to have the wrong information about the boundaries of Fantasia, let me tell you!
 
My next movie that I'm going to see is probably going to be Spiderman 2 this weekend.  I still have to get some ticket prices though, but I'm going to try for the matinee tomorrow morning.  Matinee prices are still slightly reasonable.

Ronco

I have been thinking about Ronco the past few days. I remember when he was peddling his products by himself, but I saw one of this shows the other day and his entire family was on including his older brother. It was very rehearsed. I'm known for a lot of things, but one thing I'm known for is being to tell is someone is fake laughing, and Ronco faked it every time. His brother tells a joke about thin fillets of fish, something about "you can fillet the fillet!" Ronco just started busting up. Anyway, it was really fake. But I still love the Showtime oven and the Food Dehydrator just the same. I don't personally own any Ronco products, but I have plans to buy a Showtime oven so I can cook perfect ribs, EVERYTIME! Plus it comes with a lifetime supply of ribs too. Or did they say ribwiches?

This is an outrage

I cannot believe what I am reading. The Jared Fogle is set to reappear in Slubway ads. This is for no joke. The Jared is returning to your television set boxes. You might recall, I had an interview with Jared Fogle, which you can view here and it's about halfway down the page under the date "Wednesday in Mirkwood". But it's like I've been saying for years, The Jared is a corporate spammer who possess no real marketable characteristics other than being a poster boy for a floundering organization. If you want really good slubs, and you are in Florida, try Firehouse. If you are in Washington, try Blimpies. If you are in New York, try Machievelli's.

I'm not going to lie to you. I used to work at Slubway. I worked there for all of about 1.5 months. I did enjoy getting free slubways and giving discounted slubways to my friends, but the hours sucked, the pay sucked, Jared sucked and the building sucked.

Good morning

Good morning everyone. I slept ok. I have a slight headcold from overuse of the fan at night. On the calendar for today, Bejeweled, Hexxic and forum browsing. For lunch today, pizza. For dinner, Animal Crossing. I've almost got my final home loan paid off. 750,000 bells! As usual, my mind is thinking about games even though I'm suppose to be doing something else. Oh, this is serious: DO NOT BUY the Spiderman 2: The movie videogame for PC. If you have a nextgen console, buy it for that. SM2TM for PC is a completely different game. I played it on Xbox first and it was totally cool. Just yesterday I got it for PC and what the crap, its a completely different game. A game that sucks hardcore by the way. I was totally shocked. Anyway, Caveat Emptor.

A funny thing happened the other year...

My friend and I were driving around in mid december when we chanced upon a man shoveling road snow. We're not sure who struck first, but we do know it was us that splashed roadsnow all over the guy with our car. On that very same morning, we found another man videotaping the outside of a yet unopened store. We didn't know what he was doing so we watched him from the car until he noticed us and left.

What I'm doing these days

Listening to: Dive--Sarah Brightman
Last movie seen: Underworld .125 stars
Reading: The Neverending Story
PC Game: No One Lives Forever 2
Console Game: nothing

I would like to have this be a permanent part of the blog on the right side there so everyone can see what I'm doing because everyone of course, wants to know.

SBTB

Saved by the bell might be the most delicious show on the whole planet. What other show captures the drama, the funny-ness, the angst, the drivers ed cars, the singing, the rapping, the beachhousing, the talent shows, the geeks and popular kids hanging out together and the Zack Attacks that really exist in real high-schools? There was only one other show that could do that, Saved by the Bell.

In other news, William Shakespeare has made a lot of great movies based on his books. Romeo and Juliet, Good Will Hunting, Alien 3 and House Party 3.

I saw a movie the other day called Big Fish. It was the best tribute to the band RUSH I think I've ever seen. What other movie captures the drama of the French Aristocracy, the drama of the clash of a snow dog and the Prince of the underworld or the galactic takeover by a fiendish organization? No sir, Big Fish knows drama.

Stop me if you've heard this one--

Q: Why don't you bathe with pokemon?

A: Because they'll pikachu!

I do not take credit for the previous hilarious joke statement. I heard it whilst watching TV one saturday afternoon. I was thinking about other shows that have revoulutionized the airways and I thought of a few more:

The Live Action Super Mario Brothers for it's hilarious joke statements and high quality acting.

The Snorks for it's superior quality animation and true to life stories about smurfball. I mean snorkball.

The Neverending Story movie for being the greatest implementation of the Auryn than any other movie.

Any sitcom with anyone from SNL because they are always the best shows and movies because they have the cast of the really really funny SNL show.

Punked, with your host, Ashley Kitchen

And the list goes on and on till about the previous entry. As you can see, TV hasn't really given us much to laugh about in the past 20 years. And who wants it to? I'm content letting Mark Burnett deciding what TV shows I'm going to watch, because he's a genius with TV and realitivism.

Windows XP tricks and tips

Here's something I've wondered about for a few minutes now. Why do people idolize the hollywood stars? Do people believe that they have a unique gift that no one else is able to possess? Do you REALLY believe that Ben Affleck has a skill so rare that we have to pay him millions of dollars just so he'll use it? Do you really really think that you could never ever be as attractive as the hollywood stars even if you had their money, their time, their personal trainers, their workout gear, their skin products, their stylists and etc. etc...This whole industry is built on a lie. That lie is that you, yes you, could never hope to attain the kind of status they possess because simply, they are better than you. The sooner we get rid of the hollywood star lifestyle, we'll see less suicides, less health problems due to dieting, less go-gurt commercials, more money in the pockets of working citizens, less anti-american sentiment abroad and better movies. They don't care about you. They don't think you are fit to lick the dirt from under their toenails. They regard you as trash. Why do we worship them? Why are they our childrens role-models? Why do we pay them? Why do we let them get away with bloody murder and then applaud them? There is something very wrong here.

A.C. Slater and Jessie Spano are the "In" couple

I was thinking about SBTB while I was not working this morning at work and I was trying to think of my favorite episodes. Here's what I came up with:

The one with the beach house and the now famous Leah Remini as Zack Attack's older love interest.

The one with the heart-wrenching, tearful rendition of I'm So Excited by Jessie Spano when Zack Attack finds out she is addicted to Crank.

The one where they crash the drivers ed car into the lockers. That really brings back memories of my high school, let me tell you.

The one where Jessie Spano's younger street tough cousin moves into her house and we here the now immortalized words, "Names Zack Morris, when it comes to schemes, I'm top dog."

The one where Bayside has an extra $20,000(US) sitting around so they decide that they'll have a contest between the most popular boys vs. the most popular girls to see who gets the money. I remember that kind of contest at my high school too.

And probably the single greatest syndicated TV episode of all time, Zack Attack. Zack Morris forms a band but loves the fame more than his own friends and fellow band members. That episode is pure genious. Friends Forever!

Back at work

I'm back at work. It must have been vacation this weekend, but it's over now. I was at a beach house in Lincoln City Oregon since Saturday morning. It was pretty sweetbees. My kids liked the ocean and the sand. They tried to eat it. We tried to barbeque some hotdogs, but it was so windy, we really just had sanddogs. The house was nice too. 3 floors with an ocean vue. We went crabbing too. We caught about 10, but due to some crazy transaction with some locals, we didn't really end up with any. But then for some reason, we did get some, but they weren't the ones that we caught. It sounded like a scam if you ask me. But the crabs were good eats.

Hearty Meat Sauce

Do you ever get a hankerin' for some hearty meat sauce? Man, I do. I also wish I brought some movies to watch at work because since 8 am, I've been playing zone games and reading Fark news and posting on my blogs. And this whole time, I've had no hearty meat sauce. I don't even know what to do with myself.

The coolest contest ever

If you have a great recipe for grilled cheese sandwiches, you should enter at www.teflon.com/grilledcheese and you could win a ton of great prizes, plus grilled cheese sandwiches are a cook's best friend!

Well, I still have some time to blog

So I'll talk about The Neverending Story. That movie has some funny stuff in it. There's one part where Atreyu is woken by Artax, but you can see the sugar cube they bribed Artax with fall out of Atreyu's shirt. It's very visible, expecially to the trained NES eye. I'm glad they aren't making anymore movies of that movie because from what I've read and heard, the 3rd movie wasn't that great. People say that the second one is pretty good though. I haven't seen it yet because I don't want to wreck my impression of the first movie.

In other news, Jared Fogle has all but disappeared from the public eye. Rumor control has it that he's taken another job with Miramax to be the star of the next big action movie called Submarine FIGHT! It's high budget and also stars Mickey Rooney and Jessica Alba. The musical score is going to be provided by Ace of Bace and the group of kids from Holes. Those kids are so talented. Remember when they were rappin' at the end of Holes? Now that is pure talent. Don't touch that dial! Zack Attack will be right back!

Check out this new blog I've found

Check out this new blog I've found. It's called frumix.blogspot.com and it's the coolest of the kool. Oh yeah!

In other news, I read a news story about Harry Potter and the new book name. Here's my prediction: Harry Potter and the Tome of the Ancients. I asked Batman what the name of his new movie is, and it's called: Batman.

A stolen treasure map?

And now for my final question: Does anyone know how the Harry Potter series is going to end? I have a few thoughts about it. First of all, Hermione is appointed Head Boy beating out Ron and Malfoy. Dumbledore is slain by the nefarious Voldemort who is turn slain by Harry. Mr. Malfoy is slain by Mrs. Weasley but not before slaying Mr. Weasley. Moody slays a as-of-yet-unknown villian. Snape beats McGonangall out for Headmaster of Hogwarts. Hagrid marries the other Giant. Harry's guardians reveal themselves as powerful wizards who have been taunting Harry to help him increase his magicbilities. The Dementors leave earth. Ron dates Hermione. Harry becomes jealous and dates Ginny. Ron becomes jealous and dates Harry. Trewlawney and Snape begin courtship. The Malfoy house is razed to the ground by the Order of the Phoenix. The Weasley twins open up shop in Hogsmeade. Harry becomes one of those wizards that hunt other wizards, turning down a desk job at the ministry. Cho Chang is killed by an as-of-yet unknown villian. Harry and Hermione aces the O.W.Ls while Ron fails with flying colors, sparking rumors of a secret H/H romance. More to come on this later. I've seen the future of the Potter.

If I were to write a book, which I am currently doing, what should it be about? I have a scifi background story that I've been working over for about 3 years now, but writing a book with any real substance is a monumentous task. If you know any writers who would like to write a book for free with no royalties or payment or warranty implied or otherwise or credits or any type of compensation, let me know. I just might have a job for them, Fogle Out.

I've frequently been asked...

Well, I have a new job. It's only for 2 weeks, but at least it's something. So as I was saying, I've frequently been asked what the connection is between Jared Fogle and Catwoman. Well, it's very simple. In other news, I predict that Catwoman will be lame. Lamer than Daredevil and Batman 4 combined.

None of you realize you are already part of The Neverending Story

Bastian! Why don't you do what you dream! In other news, I still don't have a job, but I have an interview tomorrow for a job at a window manufacturing place. If all works out, I'll handle the ordering a shipping of parts. MOONCHILD!

The Auryn

I noticed that for the first time ever, I have a comment on this blog. So, thank-you, whomever you are. Actually, I just found out who it was so nevermind. I still don't have a job. I think I'm going to write a book about a mythical creature who is entrusted with a magic ring of pure evil to return it to the fires from whence it came.

Newspapers

I was at home today minding my own business when out of the clear blue yonder, I hear a knock at my door. I should have known not to answer it based on what I saw through the porthole, but I haven't had any human interaction for 5 days, and even myself gets a a little lonely sometimes. But I digress. At the door was a younger man, 23 or 24. He asked me to buy a newspaper subscription. I said, "No thank you." He said, "Can I ask why?" I said, "I don't read much." That's was pretty much it.

In other news, I just now tried some of that St. Ives Apricot Dry Facial Rub. Let me tell you something; I'm exfoliated--TO THE EXTREME!!!

Apples and Oranges

Have you ever sat down to watch a movie that you had previously not seen, only to find out it's the 11th or 12th time you seen it? That happenend to me today as I was watching Underworld, a movie about cross-breeding. Almost everything about it, from what I could tell, has been borrowed from other action movies in the post-Matrix era. It's got the black leather and latex, the John Woo guns, the slo-mo, the greenish film tint in every scene and the unnecessary, yet laughable gore. It's been said before, but is worth repeating: Hollywood is out of ideas. Sure, there were some cool scenes, but is 2 or 3 cool scenes able to save a movie from mediocrity? It didn't save this one that's for sure. If you've seen The Matrx, Blade, Romeo and Juliet, Hard Boiled, Johnny Pneumonic or any action movie that's come out in the past 4 years, you aren't going to see anything new in this one. Kate is a fine actress but I don't think she can carry a film, especially one that is so relentlessly lame.

In other news, I saw Underwo...oh wait, nevermind. I had a good 4rth of July this year. No roman-candle fights though which definatly took away from the excitement, but overall, it was good. I had a large clan of drunk russians singing next door, some kids outside lighting sparklers, BBQ hotdogs, Animal Crossing and Coke. So, yeah, not bad this year, plus the weather was superb. Well, back to work.

Introspection

So here we are again gathererd around The Green Bottle to swap stories, sing songs and reminisce of days gone by. It's a funny thing, that thing called Time. How often it can be called a friend, but in a split second can turn on you. It's a wonderful thing in abundance, but when it's in short supply, what a miserable task-master. I've been thinking alot of myself this past day. I was beginning to feel old, actually. Things that I once found great enjoyment in have quietly slipped into the background of a hectic and uncertain life. I believe that with young children, my life has been irrevocably changed. I think that one of the reasons I don't enjoy my old hobbies is that there isn't time to do any of them. It would seem, at least for now, that there will inevitably arrive a time of self rediscovery. I predict that it will be around the 2030's, when my kids will have all left home to pursue their own dreams. What will I think of myself then, I wonder?

Forth of July Fun-ness

It's about 12:18 and next door is a fun-loving family (large family) of Russians. Every holiday they gather for accordian music and the mythical Russian Vodka. They are...feisty. But, it's not like I'm sleeping. Oh, I wanted to update you on the status of my envelope stuffing job. Well, the people called today and said that my hundred dollars didn't go though, so I said I would send them another check. I was sure that I saw it go through on my online banking though, but if they get another one, I'm sure they'll cancel the first one. The man then asked if I could make it a rush money order instead, so I thought, what a nice man, trying to get me the materials faster so I can start working. By this time next week, I'll be financially self-free!

When you don't have a job, what else are you suppose to but blogs?

And now for my final question, have you ever started liking a group or a type of music that perhaps in your youth, you shunned? I would like to know why or what is making me curious about listening to musical music. There's something about it that makes me *want* to like it, but at the same time, I'm so embarrassed that I have to tell you all about it. Anyway, I don't want to give the impression that I'm moving away from my rock/punk/ska/rush roots, but I think in my old age, I'm searching for something else. After all, I've been listening to essentially the same music for 14-15 years. Bands have come and gone in my collection, but the core music is still there. What's your damage?

Hans is a fine christian name

Hans Christian Anderson! I've been working on my portfolio all day pretty much, but it's hard to see progress all the time. I've draw'd stuff, and modeled stuff, but its still not complete. Oh well. I hope I get an internship on Tuesday. I still haven't found a new band to listen to. But here's what I've been listening to lately: Fleetwood, Guns and Roses, Sarah Brightman, Delerium and that's pretty much it. Dangit, I had a question I was going to ask the internet but now I can't remember what it was. I think it had something to do with...oh yes, now I remember. In my perpetual quest for delicious hotdogs, if anyone knows of any hotdogs that are above average in deliciousness, please let me know. Here's my list of favorites: Nathan's, Hebrew National, Oscar Meyer XXL and Sabrett. Those are, as far as I know, nationally available, but they are quite good. But I'd like to know of some other ones worth checking out too.

Cleaning house

As I was sitting here listening to Fleetwood Mac and eating hotdogs, I thought it might be a good idea to clean the house. It's a rare occasion that the babies are away, so I thought I should take the opportunity to clean the house. Its important to clean the house so the twins feel more comfortable trashing it again. The main question that I would like to propose to you this evening is: If a tree's shadow is 67.3 feet long, and the sun is 23 degrees W, how tall is the tree? For the record, even if there is a solution this problem, I wouldn't even know how to get the answer. I might be able to reach the right conclusion if it had something to do with hotdogs or Jared Fogle or hearty meat sauce, but without those variables, I'm pretty lost.

Guns and Roses and shareware games

In all my years of blogging, I can't think of a better combination: Guns and Roses and shareware games. I'm sitting here listening to Paradise City and playing Raptor: Call of the Shadows. It's like they compliment each other, you know? In other news, my wife and kids are not hear right now, they left for the weekend. So basically I have nothing to do except listen to Guns and Roses and drink Coke. And work on my portfolio and try to get a job.

In other news, in medical news, people that watch too many cartoons eventually become cartoons themselves. It must be really late.

Sketching and drawing

I haven't done any kind of sketching or drawing lately because I've been too busy eating hotdogs. But I thought tonight, I'd pick up the ol' hotdo...er pencil and start drawing again. I've got tons of re-skill-making to perform on myself though. One more thing, I forgot to mention, if you see something that you think is really really cool, instead of saying "cool" or "awesome" or "knarhly", try saying "Sweetbees" instead. It's a new word I picked up in the SoCal last month. Down there, EVERYONE is saying it, so you know, jump on the bandwagon and say "Sweetbees"

I'm in need of a new rock band to listen to. It would seem that I'm getting a bit tired of what I have now to listen to. If anyone can recommend a good rock band, and let me clarify here, I'm not interested in any modern sh*t with their 4 chord albums. What I AM looking for is "old skizool" screaming guitars with guitarists that actually solo. For examples, examine my profile.

I'm craving something to eat, but I can't put my finger on it though. This is because the table is slanted, and the hotdog keeps rolling towards the floor. Here's a funny quote for you: "I didn't invent hotdogs". I'll never get tired of that quote.

Have you ever watched any TV shows, particularly, Informercials and become so upset with the host or hostess that you wanted to throw hotdogs at the face of the host or hostess? Well I do. But I can't find the remote because one of my kids was eating it earlier and I didn't do anything to stop him, so I have no idea where it is now.

Working from home

This just in, I got a new job stuffing envelopes! Yeah, a nice lady named Lorraine Harness sent me an email addressed to my email address and posed the question to me: Would I like to be making more money, right now? Well, I replied to Lorraine and said most emphatically, YES!!! The best part is, it's 3 dollars PER ENVELOPE! That means if I stuff 1000 envelopes per day, which they claim is the average, I'll be making 3000 (THREE THOUSAND) DOLLARS PER DAY!! Well, I haven't started yet, I had to send them $100 dollars to prove to them that I'm completely serious and fully motivated to stuff the envelopes for them. So now I'm just waiting for some materials that they said would be mailed to me so I can start stuffing envelopes from home! I'm so excited to finally end my financial woes! I'll be able to pay off all my student loans in less than 2 weeks and start saving for a down payment on a new home! Isn't this fantastic?!?!

No job so far

Well, it would appear that I don't have a job yet, so I'll soothe my troubled heart by blogging. "It's the world's most popular hobby!" Who said that again...? Oh, why that would be...me, actually. Anyway, so that's right, no job. I applied for an internship and I have high hopes, but many many many of my hopes have been dashed to nothingness in the past few months, I wonder if this time it will be any different. It's hard to find anything to be happy about when you're worrying about how you are going to pay rent this month. And for the record, as of this moment, I don't know how.