The Quandry with Quipplers

The title of this email refers to a little known episode of The Electric Company where the Bloodhound gang has to search for a missing Quippler.  The problem though is that the Quippler does not want to be found.  Thus, the quandry.  But seriously, I remember watching an episode of the Bloodhound Gang where there is a missing stamp and someone gets murdered and there are space aliens.  It was intensely educational.  Speaking of Quipplers, I started a new blog which is here:  thequandrywithquipplers.blogspot.com.  Oh wait, let me do a block text of it, to make it seem more important:

thequandrywithquipplers.blogspot.com

There we go.  That looks so much better.  Just like the rest of my professional blogging associates' work.  By now you've figured out that the above link is bogus.  Hahaha, the joke's on you because clicked it.  As if the world needs one more hot air blogger writing about nothing except hot air balloons.

Socialitism vs. Cheetos

It's not easy bein' freezy.  I only say this because I had a dollar store Otter Pop clone the other day.  Were I able to recall the complete line of Otter Pop cast members, I could tell you who it most resembled, but the only few I can remember are Jolly Green Giant, the pea flavored frozen confection and Mr. Peanut, the peanut flavored variety.  All others are now lost to me, hidden deep in the nether realms of my own brain, doing who knows what back there.  Along with lyrics of Eddie Murphy songs, dialogue from the Transformers Animated Movie, the only transmorphers movie worth seeing, Go-bots episodes, Lego instructions for Robin Hood's forest hideout, the unfun NES game Karnov, the script for the Sven's Teens pilot on HBO, homework assignments from the english class I dropped in college, the Legend of Zelda rap from the first issue of Nintendo Power than I ever read, T'Pau and every Pantone collection in alphanumerical order.  In late night talk news, the dude on the cover of this health newsletter looks like Matthew Maconnahay who coincidentally looks like a flipping hoser.  And you can see by the number of movies he's been in that hollywood has finally given up trying to make him a star.  Some people got it, most people don't.  Most people also don't get that nobody likes a one upper.  If someone is telling a story that they are obviously excited about, they don't want the person who is listening to all of a sudden pipe up about something they think is really cool or related or better or whatever.  Just shut up and wait for the other person to finish you stupid idiot.  Please develop some social awareness before you attempt another segment of human to human interaction.

What is this feeling takin' over?

What happened to Miss Issippi?  Miss Keep Your Distance.  It's true, I'm a fan of Justin Guano from the first season of...American Idol with your host, judge, sponsor and executioner Ryan Seacrest.  But I'll miss you most of all scarecrow.  That reminds me, I saw a movie poster at the movies and it had something to do with a common table condiment, I think it was Salt perhaps.  And the tagline was "What is Salt?"  It was just stupid because everyone knows what Salt is, it's a food additive.  One moment please.  My liveblogging friend Marcus Patterwhipe has just informed me that the tagline isn't "What..." but rather "Who", and that does change things now doesn't it.  But who doesn't like change.  I like change.  You like change too or you wouldn't be here at this moment at my blog looking at my words getting your up to date accurate news and weather reports and movie and tv and board game reviews.  If you didn't like change, you'd be at one of the other blog news sites like newegg or blogs.cnet.news.com or something more conventional.  But you wanted something more.  Something more better than what they offer.  And that's good.  Change is good, like when the  ABC network got bought out by Fox and Fox dumped the whole ABC lineup.  And then Fox went out of business entirely and was replaced by the Veronica Mars Network.

This blog will cease to exist

That's right.  This blog will cease to exist at some point in the future.  But today is not that day.  Men of the West!  But I have decided, after years of blogging, even before it was cool and then uncool, even before it was free, I've decided to terminate operations of thegreenbottle and sell my coveted domain to O'Douls Brewing Company, Provo Utah.  Of course with the pending sale of my domain, I have to find another one.  So my plan is to sell my domain and then before the sale is final, re-register my blogspot domain and then get the money and keep the domain.  I watched Food Warriors this weekend.  It was pretty cool, Guy Fireheady landed a double spatula sweep on the weird Andrew dude from Bizarre Foods with the weird Andrew dude.    I want something else to get me through this semi-food kind of life.

Blodging

I was eating Lo Mein in the beforetime, a time shrouded in mist and misteries and miniseries.  But at least the noodles were a fine treat for all my hard work.  But seriously, blogging isn't work.  It's too much fun to be called work.  It should be called...lets see...something that captures the activity in a cute non-threatening way...how about blog-ging.  There we go.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Boredom

With the coming movie entitled Harry Potter and the Missing References, the book series comes to a dramatic, borrowed ending, which matches the rest of the dramatic borrowed series.  JK Rowling is a complete jackass.  I'm so glad that in the future where I come from, the books have largely been sold on ebay for haypennies on the dollar.  We in the future understand that books are books and that because something is in a book does not make it a real thing.  This is probably going to come as a shock to a few people, but there actually isn't a real JK Rowling.  She's just a character in a book.  She's the pretentious spoiled brat who claims that she's never been influenced by any other pieces of literature yet the book series she claims to have written is chock full of character archetypes, plot arcs and ideas that have come from other books, movies, videogames and furniture, not to mention mythology, album covers, bowhunting skills, apple computer and the internet.  Regardless if this JK Rowling is a real person, thank goodness that modern authors equate worldwide sales to quality and that JK Rowling sees herself as talented as Charles Dickens.  When Rowling dies and she goes to the same place that Harry Potter goes to when he fake dies, I hope she meets Dumbledore there because he'll say "You've pissed off a lot of good authors here by stealing their work.  Oh, and you're going to be devoured by demon crocodiles for a thousand years."  Then he's say "Ta Tau."

He's not what you call a glamorous man

He's the one the call Dr. Philgood, he's gonna make you feel awright.  It's true, Dr. Phil will make you "phil" alright.  Back in the motherland, we're all getting anxious for his title bout with Rachel Ray.  It's been called Millenium Dream Match Never Ends!  And it does never end.  Just like blogging, it never ends.  I was thinking that I should start another 2 blogs.  Why?  Well, no reason really.  Why would you need more than 1 blog?  Do you have more than one brain?  Or perhaps more than one personality?  I guess if the preceeding criteria applies to you, then perhaps you need more than one blog.  But for myself, being of one brain and one personality, I only need one blog.  But don't call this a blog, it's not a blog.  It's more of a one-sided forum for us all to discuss the issues.  Except I'm the only one talking and comments are disabled.  Ok, they aren't.  But they should be.

A Saved by the Bell Tale

I was out with my peregrine falcon "Twitterbug" hunting rabbits and she turned to me and said "Screech!" so we had a little conversation about Screech from my all time favorite middle school through college dramedy Saved by the Bell, which is partially ironic because there are no bells in college.  And most bells, even when it was in it's prime during the early 2000s, were actually just tones played through the speakers.  But that's not what made the show magical.  It was the magician who owned The Max, the popular hangout for the Bayside Flamingo kids.  Good ol' The Max.  What a cool local hangout place that must be, were it an actual place in the physical world.  That's what I love about Qdo--I mean, that's what I love about Saved by the Bell, it was an escape from real life, even though it tried to be real life.  Because no popular kid like Zach Morris is going to continually hang out with a loser like Screech for all four years of high school especially when Screech wrecks everything, regularly.  My favorite part in the entire series is when Zach Morris looks into the eyes of Leah Remini, future star of King of Queens, and says "We'll always have Maui" and then he gets on the plane back to bayside.  But what's even more moving than this saga is the fact that the movie "A Knights Tale" was so bad, Sony Records had to invent a movie critic to say good things about the movie.

Kitchen Fabulizing

I haven't heard much abour Rachel Ray's new show called The Kitchen Fabulous, but I'm sure it's going to awesome.  What I guess the premise is, it's sort of a like reality show with a kitchen twist, the contestants don't know they are on a reality show, they think they are just on a show with Rachel Ray, but they don't know they are being filmed, they think they are just in her kitchen because she pretends to be their friends, so they don't know it's on TV.  They'll be filmed doing everything like tasting the food and talking about the food and about how much they like Rachel Ray for inviting them over.  Then, at the end, the cameras come out and surprise!  You're on TV!  Of course nobody knows much about her new show so perhaps it's completely different.  Maybe it's just about new kitchen gadgets or something. 

The origins of blogging

The trend I started was not originally called "blogging."  This is a reletively new development.  I originally and still do call it "writing down my opinions about unimportant things and inviting strangers to read what I wrote."  This thing called blogging is so stupid.  Hey everyone, read what I wrote about my breakfast.  Or hey everyone I'm going to have celery for lunch isn't that groovy?

I'm Ted Bell

I'm not a narcisist.  I am however, Ted Bell.

I want your lahve

What would the world be like if all the computer geniuses that graduate from places like Stanford, Berkley and University of Phoenix,  instead of jumping in and creating crappy games on Facebook and inventing twitter and other sundry ways of completely wasting time and talent, what if those people were tasked with actually doing things that move humankind forward?  Here's another idea--get rid of all hollywood-related news sites and tv shows and start treating those self-congratulatory, each others' butt-kissing, backslapping self-important jackoffs like regular people.  Since you know, they are just that.  But what is awesome is if you ever meet a fake celebrity, pretend like you don't know who they are and they'll get super pissed.  I haven't been able to do that, but it's on the howard stern show all the time, to whom I also never listen.  The only thing worse than all celebrities are celebrity reporters.  Especially the bonehead girl from Dancing with the Stars and actually, everyone on a celebrity gossip show.  Even shows giving them bad attention like TMZ still gives those idiots attention which is what they crave which is what must be denied them so they will shrivel up and deflate and hopefully move away to the Yukon never to be heard from again unless they are in a movie or a tv show or something, but after that, no interviews, no press events, no standing around getting your picture taken.  I'm talking to you Taylor Twit.  Please double your facial expressions by picking one more up on the way out.  The grammys is a lot like The Emperor's New Clothes.  The only people who think it's even worth watching are the same people who think that Pink's performance with the spinning curtains was SO BEAUTIFUL or that Lady Gaga is SO SHOCKING.  The rest think the same about  people watching the grammys as the people in the grammys.  It's all just silliness.  If you need an award to validate your accomplishment, you're a pitiful human and you aren't worth the gold spray paint on your trophy.  Of course all those gasbags will say Hey I didn't ask for this award!  So I say to you, gasbag, why don't you prove it, don't show up next time, decline the award.  None of them will because how else are they going to be able to look at their prematurely aged faces in the mirror each morning when they wake up to another day without a single reason to continue existing?  You fakes.  You pathetic miserable fakes.  Nobody cares about you.  Why else do you go to these ridiculous award shows?  So you can bask in all the fakeness of the rest of your pathetic friends who have all the same problems as you.  Empty lives and empty souls.  Useless humans.  You're nothing special.  You're nothing.  Remember that as you sit in your bathroom alone bleeding out at the wrists.  Nobody is going to miss you because nobody cares.

I don't facebook

Like I just mentioned, I'm not on facebook.  In fact I think it's so utterly and completely lame that the only thing that approaches the lamnicity of facebook is yahoo news and fandango.  All of those social networking websites or "webites" for short, are the same.  Oh wait, I just got an email from facebook, lets see what it says.  Ah, someone I used to know from 100 years ago is looking for milk at the corner market.  I'm so glad I know that.  Now I know, with a surety of knowledge, that the person I knew from the beforetime is looking for milk.  I can now be at peace for I know that the universe is at peace.  Well, that was just a facsimile of the real thing.  But that is the kind of thing facebook and twitface are good for.  Blogs on the other hand are also good for nothing.  Actually, it's quite funny, people can no longer sit still long enough to read through a blog entry so we've shortened communication down to a mere sentence.  I wonder if people can sit still long enough to read through a twit?  I wonder if you're even still reading this extremely long blog entry.

What I saw at the super 8

I was staying at a super 8 motel this one time, I think it was in, lets see, I think it was in nashville or perhaps pittsburgh and I was staying there.  Anyway, what I saw was, I saw, lets see, I saw a thing, let me think, it was thing with, yes, with some things on it.  Anyway, that's what I saw.  Look, I like JJ Abrams as much as the next dork, but seriously, life is already viral enough, please spend more time and money making movies and not viral ads related to those movies.  Or just stop making movies altogether because, out of the two movies that I seen of yours, only two of them were any good.  Those are of course, The Goonies and Greyskull:The legend of Conan.  I drank a V8 and at the bottom of it said "Look to the Super 8."  Is that some kind of clue or something?  I mean, super 8s are really popular right now partly because of the motels and also because it's travel season right now.  The point is that movies are so desperate to win back some of their videogame revenues, they are going to do anything, even if that means killing large sections of the population that like videogames to bring the overall ratio of videogame people to movie people down.  Because we know that they cannot make a movie good enough to win back their lost audience.  Look at last year's movies.  The top grossing movie of last year was Will and Grace Fight Club which was pretty awesome by the way, but it only brought in 17 dollars even though it opened across almost 19,000 screens nationwide.  So the point is that movies still suck even if you try to hide that by making some ridiculous viral buzz on youtube about it.  The only viral thing that matters is the fat kid falling off the diving board.  Nothing else matters except that fat kid.

Leveraging Synergies

What do you get when you take the two most meaningless words of the last 20 years and combine them in a single sentence?  Simple, you get business talk.  Or,  you get the ability to leverage synergies.  Which by the way, means what exactly?  Leverage means looney and synergies means sins so you can draw your own conclusion.

It was acceptable in the 80s

There's only one place in the known universe where you can see pictures of yourself doing things which up until a few years ago, would have seemed like a waste of film.  The problem however, is that the pictures have not suddenly gotten better.  The only thing that has changed is our entertainment filter, brought about by the distinctly human ability to dumb ourselves down until we are entertained or perhaps intrigued by nearly everything we put in front of ourselves.  Take facebook for example.  I was facecruising the other night and I found candid shots of someone standing next to a truck, a large truck, not a monster truck, but a large truck with large tires.  And so there were pictures of whomever standing in the picture, but then the person turned around and there were shots of the back of the person's head.  And then the person started to go behind the tires and they disappeared from view entirely.  My question is thus.  And as usual, I'll answer my own rhetoric.  The picture with the person is fine.  Nothing wrong with standing next to a large tire.  And the picture without the person is also fine.  Nothing wrong a picture of a large cool looking tire.  But however, why in the halifax do we need to see the 6 pictures in between those two pictures?  The back of the head and the subsequent leaving the picture frame area.  Why do we waste electrons on all that refuse?  It makes even less sense than Lady Gaga's current popularity.  Unless we are returning to the 80's, then it makes perfect sense.

Wind it all around

You've come here for years to read the latest news and reviews of things like movies, comic books and yogurt commercials.  Which, while I'm on the topic, can we please ban all yoplait commercials, but most of all the beyond non-funny ones with the dude who wishes he was his own wife?  That guy needs to get punched in the face with his own fist.  Please, guy, be a freaking guy and set a good example for the rest of us guys that enjoy yogurt.  The other problem with commercials is that there are even commercials.  I know what you're thinking right now though, you're thinking, "Hey blogger dude with strong opinions about everything, if there were no commercials, what would you blog about?  Huh?  HUH?"  Well, random internet guy who is reading about my reading of your thoughts, you'd be right.  And nothing would make me more happy.  It's a closely guarded secret, but the truth is that I do not enjoy blogging.  I loathe it.  In fact I loathe it so much I can't even fin

Opposites Akrunk

I was thinking about that song that Paula Abdul sings to that animated cat how they're such an item and stuff and he steals her covers while they sleep together, a human and an animated cat.  And I was thinking, "that's kind of weird you know."  And it is.  People aren't meant to be with doodles, I mean, animated cats.  It's the first law of cool world, I mean, our world.  Then I started thinking about other songs that talk about how people who shouldn't be together are still together and of course I thought about Good For Me, by singing sensation Amy Grant Gill and also of course, Still The One, by the irrepresible trash-country singer Shania Twain, who is single handedly responsible for making country trashy like christian music.  But of course how I can use the word irrepresible without mentioning the irresponsible Professor Xavier of the Xavier's School for Freak Children.  I mention him because I'm reading through a book that I already mentioned called House of M and the M in House of M does not stand for Xavier like I thought it would.  It actually stands for...no...I can't tell you.  Then you'd know everything.

For making me believe that you could be faith hill to me lets hear your speech now

I don't know know what my last entry was about, but it was something about how pathetic everyone in TV and film are.  Hahahha stupid losers.  I'm sure it's important to them what they're wearing to a party, but to me, someone with real problems and real piranhas, they just look silly.  If I could have one wish...actually that reminds me of something that is so stupid.  Faith hill has this song from years ago called something or other, but the lyrics start off like this:  If I could grant you one wish/I wish you could see the way you kiss/blah blah blah.  I know it's beyond Faith Hill's abiilty to write a good song so she turned to her crack team of ace writers to come up with this paradox.  She says she wants to grant a wish, then in the very next phrase she says she wants to wish.  So who's granting and who's wishing?  I would rewrite this pathetic song, but it's waste of my wishgranting abilities.  Or maybe she's talking to herself while she's making out with herself.  If she's making out with herself and talking to herself, then it all makes grammtical sense.  She wishes she could see herself kissing herself.  And who wouldn't wish for that?  Alright faith hill, you've made a...believer...out of me.  In other news, the 5th age of blogging hasn't started yet because there's nothing else interesting related to faith hill to write about.  But I guess I could blog about my next great culture experiment.  It's called The Green Bottle's Food Revolution.  We're going to look at homemade food by proud little grandmas and then criticize it until they don't want to cook anymore.  We've already shot 13 episodes.  Very entertaining.  But it's over now.  Go on and take a bow.   

Changing times, changing pretzels

I was trying to catch up onthe last 7 years of Marvel Comics by reading some of the major transformative trades that affect the general marvel universe such as House of M, Civil War, Annihilation etc.  And maybe it's because I'm grown up to full adulthood, but most of what I read just seemed really silly.  Not to mention they changed the way almost everyone looks and I can't stand crap like that.  Drax the Destroyer is not a little dude, he's a huge Hulk of a Beast.  Thanos of Titan is purple.  Not like almost a purple hue, but purple.  Anyway, stuff changes I guess.  People change.  Lives change.  Times change.  But one thing that does not change is my loathing for all things social networking.  And that includes farmville and mafia wars.  Also what does not change is the love between a man a freshly made pretzeldog.  And that will never change.

Frequentness

I can see the frequentiality of my postings my throw some people for a faceloopbook.  But just understand this simple fact of life:  blogging for me is a weapon against blogging for everyone else.  It reminds me of the time I was combatting aliens on a distant planet.  I was wearing my powered armor and the bugs were attacking us at Whiskey Outpost.  We were given the order to open fire, but they started feeding on the rays.  So we left the planet and went back to earth content knowing that they have not yet acquired the ability to travel through interstellar space. 

Rachel Ray's Roughnecks

I was watching the battle of Whiskey Outpost of the first Starship Troopers movie, and although such exacting book to movie translations are usually off-putting, I enjoyed the combat sequences.  I remember a close up of an arachnid that gets blasted by some of the Mobile Infantry and I was reminded of a dish cooked up by Rachel Robot Ray called The Spider Feast.  It was live spiders, boiled in spider juice and served on spider crackers.  From what I remember it was a fine looking dish.

Since U been Clarkson

I was rocking out to Kelli Clarkson and belting out Since U been gone.  I love that song so much.  That song makes cheese melt in the fridge.  But only velveeta, not real cheese.  But here's the thing, we started off as friends.  I wish Clarkson all the best as she embarqs on her new cruise as top judge on american idol.

The shoes on the other feet

Ok look, we kind of got off on the wrong foot yesterday with the whole "I think you're a worthless waste of space" kind of comments.  Let me just say this and hopefully smooth this all over.  You're not a waste of space.  You're a waste of organic matter.  Because every time you're in the news, you cause however many more idiots like you to start thinking about whatever inane thing you've done recently.  And any thinking about you of any kind is a waste.  I'm glad that's out of the way.  So just to reiterate, if you're in the news on E more than twice a month, you're a waste of organic matter and a waste of the electrons drifting around in my brain.

Darby O' Flay

Just in case you missed the last episode, here's what you missed in the last episode in case you missed the last episode.  We were talking about health care reform and how that relates to 30 Minute Meals.  Basically the conclusion was that if Rachel Ray was running the government, it would be in only slightly worse shape than it is now.  Speaking of 30 minute reforms, I was watching Bobby Fool make a fool of himself on Late Night with David O' Leno.  He was cooking some kind of debauchery.  The point in all this is that they was all yellow. 

I decided to start a new paragraph.  In this paragraph we will discuss how much Lost, Lost!, 30 minute melodramas,

It takes a village

I've decided to start a new blog.  It's called thisonetimeIgotoutoftheshowerandtherewerenotowelshangingupsoicalledtomypetpigandshebroughtmeatowel.blogspot.com.  Anyway, the point is that you can make a blog out of anything you want.  Did you go to Europe one afternoon?  Blog about it.  Did you eat a Junior Mint?  Blog about it.  Did you mix rich chocolate Ovaltine with Strawberry Quik?  Blog about it.  Did you agree with something someone said?  Blog about it.  In fact, twit about it as well and facespace about it because we're all dying, just dying, to know what's on your mind.  It takes a village. 

Anvil of Crom

I have never prayed to you before, I have no tongue for it.  What matters is that one blogger stands against every blogger.  And if you do not listen, then to hell with you.  It's true that Crom is the patron saint of bloggers and that battle pleases him.  Which is why I contacted Gregor Unteed to clash in battle with Rachel Rummo on her hit show 30 minute mannequins.  Gregor leapt into the spotlight at last year's hit show Food and Battle where he defeated the eccentric millionaire Morimoto in mortal konbat using only the kitchen weapon of the day, which happened to be a garlic press.  It took several hours, but Gregor had finally defeated the undefeatable foe.  Rachel was in the audience that day though studying his moves, learning his technique.  When they clashed on 30 minute mannequins, the force of their attacks was so great that it knocked the cameras off their perches.  Rachel was quick though, she had a full complement of spatulas which she flung with near-deadly accuracy.  Gregor countered by blocking the spatulas with a serving tray and then thowing several meat tenderizers.  Rachel caught one in the shoulder as she rushed towards him brandishing a turkey baster.  She was too fast for Gregor and she landed several hard hits.  One sent gregor flying through the air hard enough to break the cupboards in the kitchen.  He quickly regained his composure and pulled from his waist pouches two vegetable steamers which he quickly expanded into disc mode.  Rachel had jumped into the air and screamed "Flight of the Golden Wasps!" and unleashed a barrage of BBQ forks.  Gregor had barely enough time to raise his vegetable steamers before the forks shot towards him.  A fork struck his leg just below his kneecap.  He screamed in agony and flung one of the vegetable steamers through the air which sliced into rachel's right shoulder and lodged into the wall behind her.  The two wounded combatants continued their assault.  Rachel pulled a marble rolling pin and began attacking gregor.  She smashed through the island which separated the warriors.  Gregor who still had one vegetable steamer blocked one attack but it shattered the steamer and broke his hand.  He quicked grabbed a handful of skewers which he loaded into a cookie press to create a makeshift blowgun.  He sent wave after wave of pointed skewers at rachel who took numerous hits.  Gregor loaded up another round of skewers and used them to pin rachel's wounded arm to the wall.  He leapt toward the trapped fighter wielding dual ladels.  Just before he could land the finishing blow, Rachel severed her own arm with a  bar strainer.  Gregor's attack went through the wall but rachel had jumped out of the way.  She went for the final strike with some salad tongs, but gregor had one more trick up his sleeve.  With his last baker's dozen of strength, he grabbed a cooling rack and flung it like a frisbee.  She never saw it coming.  And like that it was over. 

It takes a bloggage

It takes a village.  I truly believe that.  It takes a village.  I just truly believe that.  In other news I read a statistic that stated that 98% of blogging was done only for the enjoyment of the blogger, a word which means "person who blogs."  So if this statistic is true, which it is, because I truly believe that it is, we can theorize that blogging is done for the enjoyment of the blogger.  This would seem to fly in the face of conventional wisdom that states that blogging is done because people like star trek.  I watched the new star treck the other day.  I have a few questions.  Firstly, would someone please cut JJ Abrams hair and secondly for someone so fixated on if something is cool or not, your hair is remarkably uncool.  It takes a village.  So my question so far about JJ's hairpiece is only this:  please get a haircut, or at the very least change stylists from the stylist of the New Kids on the Block to someone slightly less consevative.  Maybe use the stylist of LFO and then you can sing about girls and summer and girls of summer.  Anyway, we're still talking to JJ Abrams about his hair.  He had this to say about his hair:  My hair is me and I am it.  My hair is where I like to be and it looks like all my dreams.

Schiz Gordon

Being a unadmitted schizo has it's priveledges.  But since I'm not a schizo I don't even know what you're talking about.  I'm currently doing some production work for my new record label called Punkd Rock Records.  If you have any music you want worked on, let me know in the comments section of this blog as that is the most official way to contact someone that you want to work with on an album.  But seriously, I'm not schizo, I just have lots of people talking in my brain that may or may not be under my control.  That reminds me of this one joke I heard:  Knock Knock--Who's there?  Me.  Me who?  Me you.  Hahahahahaha.  See, if you're the only person talking, that joke is super funny.  Lets see, in anime news, there is no news.  In web design news, the web is boring now.  Have you noticed all tech news sites look basically the same?  And all search engines just pull from google so the results are all the same.  Except www.cuil.com.  That is the best magazine style results page search engine ever created.  For instance, if you search for Flash Gordon, you will get results like "Flash Games" and Flash Actionscripting.  But nowhere does it mention the greatest movie soundtrack of all time.  I'm talking about Flash Gordon's soundtrack in case you didn't pick up the transition.  Remember that in the savage future of intergalactic space, if you are confronted by armed guards, line up like you're playing football and instead of shooting you, they'll attempt to play football with you and you can easily overpower them.  That is the lesson from the savage future.  Gordon out.

A word to the witless

Facebook should be called Wastebook because of all the government spending.  I watched The Terminator last night and I couldn't help picturing Arnold as the Terminator of California.  That movie was so good.  You're terminated.  The girl from that bizarre beauty and the beast played the part well, and also the beast from that movie was also good as The Terminator Beast.  The Beauty and the Beast show was weird.  I remember watching the pilot air on DVD for the first time on TV and I thought it was a weird show.  I still remember the names of the two characters though, Beauty and Beast.  That's how much I love that show.  Another show I watched last night, which was after my own heart, was The Worst Movies of the Year with the At The Movies blokes.  It was good.  I love watching movies get panned because the truth is, they all suck in some degree or another.  Transformers 2 was lame.  The first one was lame as well.  Or should I say "Bring the Lame."  So stupid.  The Ugly Truth is lame.  That movie with those 2 well known dudes and the one who isn't well known but wants to be, who at the end of the commercial is singing to a man dressed in a giant panda suit.  Is that not lame?  Yes, it's lame.  But in the words of Maximus "Are you not entertained?"  They're making these crap movies for someone out there in americatown.  Also in the words of Maximus "Senator Gracchus will be reinstated."  I also watched Beveryday Bland with your hostess Jimminy Cricketto who was basically nice basically like before and basically her entire life.  Just remember that if you're cool enough to be filmed drinking pomagranattinis at a handcrafted glitzy bar set, you're basically nice.

Dualilitism

The dual nature of computers is difficult for most people to understand.  And by most I mean everyone.  On one hand you have their ability to crunch numbers and walnuts, on the other hand you have their ability to play multiplayer online games like World of Crapcraft.  And finally on the third hand if you are a Pluton, you have their ability to play offline games like solitaire and freecell.  So which do you choose?  The choice is obvious.  None of them.  You have to pick the hidden hand that you didn't even see.  And that ability is the ability to do whatever you want them to do as long as it doesn't violate the laws of physics.  The only reason I bring this to your attention is that since I got my first quantum comupter I can record 30 minutes meals and watch the 2010 Freecell Championship at the exact same time except on different computers and different times.